Might as well say yes
I wouldn't want to ruin
The mood you are in
My no I don't want
The back door to be explored
Won't be respected
Anyways you'll try
Why am I crying like this
It isn't that bad
I have no reason
You say irritatingly
But the discomfort
Of being below
As you enjoy yourself and
The tears just come out
I've said no and no
Repeatedly that it is
Unless to express
It isn't the first
That I felt obligated
It won't be the last
And after all this
I'll get food with you feeling
This heavy burden
While you will go on
About your day normally
And I regret this
But I've been told that
This isn't actually
Rape you did to me
Because I didn't
Fight you off of me but I
Felt that I couldn't
Because you would say
I ruined the mood and then
Give me the coldness
Lack of affection
Because I didn't deserve
It after saying
No I don't want this
No this is making me hurt
But it isn't rape
This is what a good
Girlfriend does to make sure her
Boyfriend is happy
And no I don't want
Another girlfriend with you
But you persist and
I will force myself
To try to give you what you
Want that I don't want
And you will say that
I'm not trying hard enough
But am I enough
Isn't that why you
Accepted those nudes and let
Those girls flirt with you
You say it isn't
Sharing but rather it is
Expanding the love
That you and I have
But we both know how it ends
I am crying and
You are frustrated
Because I am not being
A good girlfriend when
I say no to you
You say this is what we need
To stay together
I needed to stop
Going out with friends too much
You never liked them
And I know it is
Terrible that I went to
Go see her because
I saw her last week
Once a week is excessive
And that is why you
Had to scream at me
Over the phone frustrated
If I ignored it
I wouldn't want to
See the paragraphs that you
Would send to me but
She was helping me
Clean and organize my room
She was my best friend
Forget going out
I went out too much to you
But it was the mall
And I wasn't dressed
Like a whore when you went off
About my outfit
I apologized
I am so sorry that I
Kept on messing up
I am sorry that
I could not meet your standards
I apologized
YOU ARE READING
VʋƖղҽɾαɓιƖιƭყ
PoesiaA series of personal haikus filled with love, heartbreak, trauma, life lessons, and in the moment spontaneous poems. TW: Some suicide & assault. I'll mark them with ⚠︎︎ in the title. Just skip them if you're not comfortable with them.
