close to my dialling heart

6🌹puppy doll eyes

🎶need a place to hide, but I can't find one near. Wanna feel alive outside, I can't fight my fear🎶
~Billie Eilish with Khalid~

DOVE 🕊

It was already 4:02 p.m., and I suddenly remembered that Xavier was waiting for me in the parking lot. I hated being late, and those two extra minutes were enough to send me into panic mode. I rushed out of the library and jogged towards the dorms, feeling like they had never been so far away. Mal and Elaila weren't in the dorm, as they had an afternoon session.

I quickly changed out of the outfit I had been wearing - a long skirt and a white string top with a black denim jacket thrown over - and into a pink dress that fell just an inch below my knees. Since the dress was sleeveless, I threw the same black jacket on top to cover up. I was too uncomfortable showing any skin, even just a glimpse of my shoulder. Years of Catholic school had instilled that modesty in me.

I arrived at the parking lot, and Xavier's car was already there, standing out like a luxury gem among the other vehicles. Its sleek design and high-end brand made it hard to miss, and I felt a twinge of anxiety seeing it waiting for me. Xavier's punctuality made me feel like I was running behind, and I didn't like keeping people waiting.

As I approached the car, I saw Xavier sitting in the driver's seat with the door open, his legs crossed and leaning over the dashboard. He was typing away on his phone, his seat reclined at an angle. I felt apologetic for keeping him waiting. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting," I said, grabbing his attention from his phone.

I noticed we both had changed our clothes; he now wore grey jeans, a black sweatshirt, and black tennis shoes, topped with a black baseball cap. He glanced at his black leather wristwatch and then gave me a faint smile, which made my stomach flutter. It was rare to see him smile, and it caught me off guard. "It's alright," he said, sighing, and adjusted his seat back to a 90-degree angle before reclining it back a few inches.

The car still exuded that luxurious feel from the night before. As Xavier turned the key in the ignition, the engine's hum made me feel a tad uneasy. Being alone with him in the car, just the two of us, evoked a strange sensation that I couldn't quite put into words. "Change" by NF played softly through the radio, filling the silence between us. The music was a welcome buffer, but the lack of conversation still felt deafening.

"Thank you," I whispered, breaking the silence. He raised an eyebrow, prompting me to continue, "for taking me." Xavier chuckled at my formality, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Have you always been this formal?" He glanced at me again, and I felt myself stiffening in my seat. Each time he looked at me, I felt a flutter in my chest. "I guess," I replied, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. I was a nervous person, but around him, my anxiety seemed to multiply.

The car ride was filled with nervous tension, and I couldn't wait for it to end. When we finally arrived at the mall, I quickly got out and headed into the pharmacy, with Xavier following closely behind. He wore his baseball cap backward, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, and his gaze fixed ahead. I felt uneasy with him walking behind me, and the strong scent of medicines inside the pharmacy only added to my discomfort. It was a smell reminiscent of hospitals, and I hated it - perhaps the reason I rarely got sick. "Are you sick?" Xavier asked, breaking into my thoughts and making me tremble. "Uh, no... but I will be soon," I muttered, the last part barely audible. However, the piercing stare he shot me indicated that he had heard every word.

I quickly grabbed the medicines I needed from the shelf, with Xavier remaining by my side the entire time. "Thank you," I said to the cashier as she handed me the plastic bag, but she barely acknowledged me. Her attention was fixated on Xavier, who was standing behind me, his eyes now fixed on his phone. I doubt she even heard my gratitude. "Have a good day," she said with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, but I wasn't sure if she was addressing me or Xavier.