close to my dialling heart

59🌹where do i touch you?

🎶I get dirty thoughts about you. They get worse when I'm without you. Does that mean that I'm going to hell? Or are you thinking them as well?🎶
~Chloe Adams~

DOVE 🕊

As soon as I entered my room, I moved cautiously, slipping into bed, my heart still racing. A knock on the door broke the silence. I clenched my teeth, praying it wasn't Nana-and if it was, hoping she hadn't seen anything outside. "Come in," I called, too anxious to pretend I was asleep. Nana stepped in, and immediately my nerves spiked. "Will you be able to sleep alone tonight?" she asked, her voice gentle. Relief washed over me-she hadn't seen me with Xavier.

"Yes, I will tonight," I replied, trying to sound natural. She nodded, "Alright then, good night."

"Good night, Nana." She carefully closed the door behind her as she left. That was close. I had changed so much this semester. I used to never even think of leaving the house in the afternoon, and now I was sneaking out at midnight.

I couldn't fall asleep, having already napped too much in the afternoon. Frustrated, I kept tossing and turning, so I decided to watch a series-but even that bored me after a while. Grabbing my phone, I debated whether to call Xavier. Unsure if he was asleep, I tried anyway, but there was no answer. Sighing, I slid my phone under the pillow and let my thoughts drift, hoping it would lull me to sleep. Of course, the first thing that came to mind was Xavier. He was all I could think about lately. And naturally, my thoughts veered in a... less-than-innocent direction. Really?

I couldn't stop the memories flooding back-how he grabs me, how he kisses me, how his touch claims my body as his own. The thoughts stirred something inside me, and I tried to push them away, but it was like they were etched into my mind. Even thinking about him in the most innocent way made my pulse quicken, but now, with those other thoughts creeping in, it was impossible to control. The more I tried to stop, the worse it got.

Just then, my phone vibrated from under my pillow, and I grabbed it immediately, answering without hesitation-it was him, calling back. "Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No, I was waiting for your call," I breathed. "I hope I didn't wake you either."

He hummed, "No. I was working out, just about to hop in the shower."

I exhaled sharply at that, already picturing how he looked after a workout-his muscles taut, sweat glistening on his skin. And now, the thought of him about to shower made the ache between my legs worse. "Oh, so you look good," I mumbled, more to myself.

"Yeah, as long as you think so," he replied smoothly, "then I do."

Oh no. He heard me. His ears were way too sharp.

"Xavier?" I called, my voice a bit shaky.

"Yeah," he answered with a groan, like he was in the middle of doing something.

"How do I... how do... how do I touch myself?" The words felt impossible to say.

"Are you horny?" he asked, his tone casual.

"Mhm," I breathed.

He chuckled softly, his voice dropping lower. "What were you thinking about?"

I hesitated, feeling a little embarrassed. "You," I admitted, then added, "...and I shouldn't have, because now I don't know what to do with myself." I complained.

He chuckled again, and it only made things worse. "What were you thinking about?" he asked, instead of helping me.

"Xavier..." I whined.

"Just tell me," he urged.

"About how you touch me... how you touch me so..." I cleared my throat, "...so well," I breathed out.