close to my dialling heart

10🌹the beauty of proximity

🎶girl, you know you make my cold heart warm with a touch🎶
~Lil peep~

DOVE 🕊

It was a Saturday night, and I couldn't shake off the fear that gripped me, making it impossible to sleep.

My roommates had left for the weekend, and my family home was too far to travel to for just a short break. Every creak and screech in the room made me tremble.

Seeking solace, I sat on my bed, focusing on my sketching. I had re-drawn Xavier on an A2 paper torn from my sketchbook, which I rarely used. Pencils lay scattered around me, and as I worked, my fear began to fade. I sighed, gazing at the sketch, proud of my creation.

The smile on my face lingered as I added shading to his black shirt. I realized I had a photographic memory when it came to him - every detail etched in my mind. I had captured him seated on my desk, just like two days ago, his gaze piercing mine. He looked like a character from a comic manga, and I felt a sense of accomplishment at bringing him to life on paper.

Suddenly, a knock at my door made my heart race. The person knocked again, and I stood up from my bed, thinking it might be one of Elaila or Mal's friends, since no one usually came to see me. I opened the door, ready to tell whoever it was that the person they were looking for wasn't around. But my words caught in my throat when I was met with Xavier's charming smile and captivating scent.

He was the last person I expected to see, and I was taken aback. The last time we met, I had sung for him, and now here he was, standing in my doorway, wearing a black hoodie, sweatpants, and tennis shoes. He gave me a wide, ear-to-ear smile, but I couldn't respond, frozen in surprise. His presence was both captivating and intimidating, and I realized I had just been drawing him, which made this encounter even more awkward. I hoped for a telepathic power to appear, but none came. "Hi..." I hesitated, glancing over my shoulder, unsure what to say. "Hey," he replied, his deep voice breaking the silence.

I remained stuck by the entrance, clutching the door handle, unsure what to do. "Are you going to let me in? It's freezing cold out here," Xavier asked, his voice laced with amusement. "Oh yeah, of course, sure..." I trailed off, still not moving. "Dove?" he prompted, his tone hinting at confusion.

"Hmm...? Oh, sorry," I muttered, finally stepping aside to let him in. I quickly closed the door behind him and rushed to my bed, sitting down on the edge, trying to appear nonchalant. Xavier furrowed his brows, his eyes scanning the room before landing on me, his gaze lingering on my sketch. "What?" I asked, feigning innocence, trying to hide my drawing from his view.

Xavier shrugged, knowing he was the one who was supposed to ask the question. He sat down on the bed, his eyes scanning the mess of pencils and paper, his gaze lingering on my sketch. "Were you drawing?" he asked, his curiosity evident. I nodded, knowing I couldn't deny it. "Can I see?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with interest. I shook my head, feeling a flush rise to my cheeks.

The paper was getting crumpled beneath me, but I didn't care. I was too embarrassed to let him see that I was drawing him, capturing his signature look on paper. But would he really mind? "Come on," he coaxed, his voice gentle. "No," I replied, my voice firm. Xavier sighed, his eyes fixed on the uncovered part of the sketch, as if trying to decipher what it was through the scattered pencils and paper scraps. Could he guess what I was drawing? "Dove?" he asked, his voice soft. "No," I repeated, my voice firm, trying to hide my embarrassment.

Without warning, Xavier pulled my arm and swiftly lifted me onto his lap, his grip on my waist firm. I landed against his chest, my eyes wide with shock, my jaw dropped in surprise. Before I could react, he snatched the paper from under me, leaving me in a state of disbelief. How could he be so strong?