Weak (Canute x Femreader x Thorfinn)

Peace

I looked down at Canute's sleeping face and smiled. I brushed his cheek with my palm before leaning over and blowing out the small  candle on his bedside table. I sat at the edge of the bed and tied my (hair color) hair into a ponytail, thinking about meeting up with Thorfinn. My heart started to pound.
I knew he would be angry at my decision but I had to get it off my chest. Plus there was something else I needed to talk about, and I couldn't talk to Canute about it.
I quietly walked out of Canutes bedroom and into the hallway slipping on Canute's cape. I looked down at my old blood stained jacket that was lying on the kitchen table and sighed. The thought of crawling back into bed with Canute and basking in his warmth was so tempting, especially since the rain was pouring outside.
Even so I knew I needed to get this over with. I pulled Canute's gloves over my fingers and quietly opened the front door slipping out, I had already thought of an excuse just incase he woke up and I was gone.
I walked out into the rain and towards the spot where I was supposed to meet Thorfinn.
"Hey." Thorfinn called out from a distance. He was standing in the horse stables holding a lantern in his hand.
"Hey this isn't where we we're supposed to meet." I said in a whisper, trying not to alert Askeladds men who were surly watching.
"Would you rather be in the rain?" He asked in an annoyed tone.
"N-no." I said back shivering while walking inside.
Stepping in, Thorfinn sat his lantern on a table and sat down.
"Take a seat." He said while pulling a chair out for me
"I can't I need to go back soon." I said taking my hood off
"Lover boy doesn't know you snuck out does he?" He asked propping his feet up
"Stop Thorfinn." I demanded
Thorfinn looked at me and then back at the ground.
"So what do you want to talk about?" He asked
"I wanted to talk about what happened to Ragnar." I said sternly
"What? I thought we were going to talk about what happened between us? What happened to cry babies baby sitter is none of my damn business. I don't give a shit." He said annoyed.
"Thorfinn please-"
"If the the only reason you came here was to talk about that then you can leave. Go talk about it with your boyfriend." He said annoyed and pointed at the door
"I can't." I said in a frustrated tone
"Why not?" He asked
"I think Askeladd killed Ragnar." I said out loud, covering my mouth realizing how loud I said it.
Thorfinns eyes widened a bit before looking at me again.
"How do you know?" He asked
"I was with Askeladd less than 10 minutes before Ragnar stormed out of the house. I saw it. There wasn't a war going on. Askeladd stopped and talked to me for a moment before telling me to go back." I said in a whisper
"So? That doesn't mean anything. What if they were just watching to see how close the English would get?" Thorfinn said back
"Do you really believe Askeladd would let me stop and talk to him if there was a chance the English would sneak up on us? Plus you know he would tell me if there was any chance of an attack so I could run back." I asked
"No but-" he started
"And when I was leaving the last thing Askeladd asked me was if I saw Ragnar to tell him he needed to speak to him." I said continuing on, lost in thought
"You saw Ragnar leave the house?" He asked looking at me
"I just told you that. Yes." I said in an annoyed tone.
"What did you do after he left?" He said moving closer to me.
"I-" I started, realizing I was going to have to lie my way out of this situation.
"Did you stay and listen in on what Canute and I talked about?" He said leaning in
"No! I went and followed where Ragnar went until I lost them. I'm pretty sure they caught onto me following. Can't you ever let me speak without cutting me off?"  I said trying to cover my tracks. I was never a good liar.
"Well what does it even matter if Askeladd killed Ragnar? He killed my dad and I lived."
"Thorfinn," I said looking at him intensely. "If Askeladd killed Ragnar the Danes will figure it out they won't take that sitting down. There'd be another war for sure." I said finishing
"So what, another war?" He asked
"Thorfinn I know you don't like talking about this but Askeladd is all I have and I'd rather not lose him to an unnecessary war." I said frantically
"War is inevitable as long as there's men like your uncle walking this earth."  He said looking up
"He's not a violent man. I have to believe that he wouldn't." I said under my breath. I knew that was a lie but I would try my best to convince myself of it.
"He would and you know it. At this point you're lying to yourself. You can't come here and tell my why you think he killed Ragnar and then try to back track because he's your blood. You know the truth."Thorfinn said quietly.
I sat in silence for a moment watching the faint light of the lantern flicker on the ground before responding.
"I know." I said in a whisper, "But why can't there be any peace?" I asked continuing.
"There can be." Thorfinn said looking up at my face. His blue eyes sparkling in the dim light.
"No." I said shaking my head. I knew what he was going to say.
"(Y/N) Listen to me." He asked
"No." I said walking away
"We can run away-"  He said standing up
"No Thorfinn please-" I said cutting him off
"All you have asked for since I have known you is peace. Let me give you that." He begged
"Thorfinn stop." I demanded
"I have loved you since I've laid eyes on you (Y/N)! I couldn't help it! I just hear me out. You owe me that!"  His face turning red.
"You have called me swine blood ever since you've laid eyes on me Thorfinn! Stop lying!"  I said throwing my hands up
"I didn't mean it! I didn't! I was trying to convince myself I didn't love you! I was trying to convince myself I didn't love someone who shared the blood of my fathers killer!" He said choking on tears
"Thorfinn you don't-" I said screaming
"I do! I know I can't give you everything a king can but please I can make you happy. Give me the chance to make you happy!!" He said with tears streaming down his face screaming, moving closer to me.
"Stop now-" I said holding my face in my hands.
"I'll give up everything!  I'll never hold a blade again! I promise! I want to be kinder person for you!" He said through sobs.
"No-" I said. Hot tears starting to pour down my face too.
"I want to be your husband. I want to hold you." He said crying
"I've made my choice Thorfinn." I said looking at him. Trying to wipe the tears that were falling down my face.
"No no no!" Thorfinn said holding his head.
"I-I'm marrying Canute when we get to Gainsborough." I said shakily
"But you said you'd make your decision by then??! Don't you need more time?" He pled
"You don't deserved to be led on when I already know." I said looking up at him softly.
"This isn't right. You know it isn't. You're crying! You're hurt!" His face was red.
I stopped for a moment choking back tears before finally able to talk again.
"Just because something's right doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell." I said softly feeling tears fall down my face.
"Do you love him?" He asked
"Yes." I choked out
"Did you ever love me?"
"I-I think so. Before I met him." I said in a whisper
"What made you choose him? What makes him better?" He said louder
"I don't know." I said under my breath
Thorfinn moved closer. His eyes full of rage.
"DAMN IT YOU HAVE TO KNOW." He said screaming at me while slamming his fist on the table. I jumped back, my eyes widening in fear. My mouth opened but a sound wouldn't come out.
"GIVE ME A DAMN REASON!" He demanded
"B-because he wouldn't scare me like that."  I said looking up at him, shaking.
His eyes held a mix between anger and sadness. Everything went quiet for a moment. It felt as if time was stuck and neither of us knew what to say.
"I'm leaving tonight." He said backing away from me. He finally broke the silence.
"Where are you going?" I asked moving closer to him.
"Somewhere where you aren't. I can't be around you. It can't be like this." He replied pushing past me, towards the stable doors.
"Thorfinn I can't help it." I said turning around to look at him. Tears were pouring down my face again. My heart was beating fast.
"You'll be a beautiful queen." He said quietly under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear it. He walked out of the stables into the rain, taking one more look back at me before turning back around. There was a softness in his face I thought I'd never see.
I watched him walk through the forest until the light of his lantern wasn't visible anymore.
Every time I moved to go after him Canutes face popped in my head and my feet wouldn't move. I couldn't.  I stood there for a bit collecting myself until I felt it was right to leave.
I walked out of the stables pulling Canute's cape around me. I took a deep breath and walked towards where Canute was sleeping, feeling the rain fall on my face.
"You shouldn't be out this late." Askeladds voice called out from the darkness. I turned around and looked at him. He was leaned up against the wall of the stable. I felt my blood run cold.
"You're one to talk." I said back, trying my best to be normal.
"I couldn't sleep. I was taking a walk and then going to lay down but eavesdropping on your love life seemed a bit more interesting." He said looking at me.
"How much of that did you hear?" I asked looking at the ground
"Only that you're getting married. Thought I would be the first to know as your uncle. Kinda hurts." He said smirking.
"Shut up." I said smiling
"I think you made the right choice if it means anything." Askeladd said looking at me.
"I think I did too." I said quietly
"Canute's going to be a good husband. You can tell he loves you." Askeladd said looking down at me brushing my hair with his hand.
"He will be." I said smiling
"And he'll be a good king too. I'm going to make sure of it."  Askeladd said
"Yeah." I said back. Starting to worry.
"Come here." He said with a smile, opening his arms and pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him. He felt so warm.
"But for me to do that you need to keep your mouth shut. You can never tell him what you told Thorfinn tonight. Forget what you saw. Forget what you heard." He whispered in my ear, still holding tightly onto me.
I said nothing. I could hear my heart beating faster.
"Do you understand me?" He asked in my ear again
"Y-yes sir." I said in a whisper.
His grip loosened on my back and he let me go.
"Good. Now go to Canute. You need to sleep." He said patting me on my back
"Yes sir." I mumbled out.
"I love you." He said looking down at me
"I love you too." I said smiling while walking back to Canute, trying to keep my cool.
~ ~~
Walking inside I laid Canutes cape on the chair to dry. I crept down the hallway trying to be as quiet as humanly possible while walking inside the bedroom.
Canute still laid sound asleep in bed. His long blond hair messy laid all over his face. I reached down and moved it off smiling softly at him. I rubbed his face with my palm again admiring how beautiful he was.
"H-hey." He said sleepily, struggling to open his eyes.
"Oh god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to wake you!" I said moving my hand.
"No you're okay. I'm so glad you're here." He said looking up at me smiling while grabbing my hand. The moonlight from the window illuminating him. He reached a hand up to stroke my face.
"Your hairs wet." He said confused
"I know it's raining outside." I said softly, still looking down. Canute sat up to look at me.
"Why were you outside?" He asked, his face full of confusion.
"To talk to Thorfinn." I said sighing
"Why were you talking to him?! Why didn't you tell m-" Canute asked furiously.
"To tell him that I'm marrying you."

AN: GOD THIS CHAPTER HURT TO WRITE. I love writing angst (if you've gotten this far you know that lol) but DAMN did writing that Thorfinn scene make me want to tear up. Thankfully Thorfinn will be getting some more love in my next book (stay tuned ;))  Let me know what you think!! 💙 and thank you for all the comments and votes as always