Beyond Our Control

Chapter 9

 Lunch had come quick. She sat in the crowded long table, Gibson and Annika by her side. Their food ran hot and warm in their trays, fresh baked bread, and small portions of mashed potato with some sort of sauce. Not that she was really hungry or anything. She just couldn't stay in the cottage any longer, the shame and guilt was going to eat her alive.

She still couldn't wipe the thought out of her though, the emotions that Faye finally scattered in front of her. She thought she didn't mean any of the things she shouted to Faye, but now she's not so sure anymore. Because it was true she was mad that Faye wouldn't talk to her and kept avoiding her. But it's not like she's anyone really special that Faye would open herself up to. Although for some reason Kenna had wished she had some sort of magic on her that did make Faye talk to her. And she didn't know why, but for some reason she wished she was special.

"Um hello?" Annika waved a hand in front of her face, her mind coming back to reality.

"What's up with you today, Kenna? First you were tired and hurt, now you've been spacing out since you got here." Gibson said.

"I was? Sorry, I guess it's just low energy." She sighed.

"Eat up then! Stop staring into mid-air and eat already!" Annika grabbed up Kenna's spoon and shoved a mouthful of mashed potato from her tray into her mouth.

"Something really is off with you today, I really hope you feel better "

A girl who wore her plain white shirt in a revealing way with it tied up to her stomach brushed her hand on Gibson's shoulder. She grinned, and Gibson wandered dreamily away with her.

Annika rolled her eyes with disgust. "I really wish my brother gets his face smashed so he can be ugly forever. I'm telling you, he's literally like honey that attracts flies."

"At least if that happens he'll still have his muscles and abs." Kenna nudged Annika in the shoulder playfully as her stare followed the girl flirting with her brother.

She turned back toward Kenna and gave her a look. "Oh please, please, please. If you're also falling for him then I'll have nobody left. Please tell me you're not poisoned by his charm like all the other girls here."

Kenna laughs. "Don't worry, I'm not that type of person. You can rest assured with me."

Annika exhaled deeply. "Thank god. But you must like someone here don't you? Tell me which boy looks kind of cute to you." Annika pulled Kenna into her arm as she gestured around at the guys.

Kenna felt wordless for a moment. And for the first time her mind is taken off from all the mess with Faye and Dr. Novak. This was supposed to be the normal things she worried about, chatting with friends about which boy looks cute. But she's never done anything like this before, not even with Lina. And even though a rule was set with no intimacy and stuff with peers, maybe in Ordinaire many people still had crushes. She almost forgot the fact that everyone here is from Ordinaire and not from the youth dorms like her.

"Isn't this inappropriate? Don't we still have our...matches?" Kenna felt weird as she said that, there was no match ever assigned for her. And she doesn't even know if she'll be assigned one when she gets to live in Ordinaire.

Annika looked at her amusingly. "So I see you're one of those good kids. Not even small bits of playing before you're married off? C'mon, Kenna, you must have some kind of affection for someone here." Annika twitched an eyebrow at her.

Kenna thought for a moment as Annika had asked that question. Then suddenly, the first thing that came to her mind was Faye. Her deep blue eyes and ash blonde hair, the image stayed for long moments until Kenna shook her head hard to wipe away the thought. What was she thinking? That must've been a mistake, she barely even knew her. And plus she had just damaged her...a lot.