Beyond Our Control

Chapter 15

 She woke up before the morning bell. She winced at the cold morning breeze, the curtains blew gently from the wind that came from the opened windows. The sun had just started to shine in, a strike of small sunlight shot onto her face. And that lingering sweet scent from Faye was here with her today.

Faye still had her grip onto Kenna, her head right below Kenna's chin. She was still soundly asleep, her breathing steady.

Kenna was a little cold, since the blankets slipped off of her last night. Her body was slightly uneasy and sore with Faye's arms locked around her waist. But she didn't dare to move, not if it meant that it would wake her up and bring her back into this horrible reality.

She watched her, observing. She couldn't see her face because Faye tucked it in her shoulders. But she could feel her. She watched her chest rising as she inhaled, then slowly descending as she exhaled. She watched it happen until she lost count, but it wasn't boring. It felt peaceful. It felt right. It felt normal.

She wished she could watch her like this forever. She wished they could stay like this forever. Just the two of them together, no Dr. Novak or anyone else. Just them.

But the world was somehow always against her. The morning bell rang, loud and clear. Faye took her arms off at once, rubbing her eyes and trying to figure out who's the figure in front of her.

"Kenna?" She croaked, her voice was dry due to the lack of water.

"Morning," Kenna grinned.

"What are you doing here?" Faye looked away but Kenna could hear the smile and embarrassment in her voice.

"We better get ready for breakfast soon. Don't want to be late." Kenna got up and slipped out of Faye's room, knowing that now would not be the perfect time to discuss about last night.

They stood in front of their cottage, waiting for Annika and Gibson. The mornings were always slightly colder, they wrapped themselves tightly in their jackets, their breaths visible in the cool air as they exhaled.

"About last night..."

"We don't have to talk about it if you really don't want to, Faye. You don't have to feel sorry about anything."

Faye reached for Kenna's hand, holding it tightly. She looked into her eyes, her look serious. "No, Kenna. I want to. There's a lot of things you don't know about me...but I want you to." She looked onto the floor at her feet, again. "It's always the secrets that end up separating people." Looking up again at Kenna, her eyes were determined. "I don't want you and me to become those people."

Kenna managed a smile.

There's a lot of things you don't know about me too, but I can't be that selfish and tell you. It would mean risking another person's life, my best friend's...

But even without the secrets between them, they were soon to be separated. After all Kenna is only a spy to tell everything she learns about Faye to her mother. So that Faye can be fixed. You're doing her and you justice, she told herself again.

Faye smiled back. "I love you, Kenna." Her eyes twinkled with a look of future in them.

It was the first time anyone ever said that to her. She has never said the word out loud before, at least not that she could recall. But definitely, she's never said it to anyone. She wished she could say it back...but something held her back. She just couldn't.

She grinned at Faye, but she couldn't budge the three words out of her mouth. Although Faye wasn't expecting her to say it back, something from her look told Kenna that she's willing to wait for her forever. But that only made Kenna feel worse about herself.