Beyond Our Control

Chapter 32

 They had gone through another door from the dining room, somewhere in the far back that Kenna hadn't noticed at all during dinner.

She could taste the metallic flavor in her mouth from biting down on the inside of her lips in anger. It felt like she wasn't really here, like her mind had drifted somewhere else instead of walking in this tight nit hallway next to Dr. Novak. But at the same time, the presence of Dr. Novak felt too real to let her mind really wander off.

The dark halls seemed to go on forever, too dark and shadowy for her to see if it actually ends. Several metal looking doors are built on the sides of the wall. She imagined the empty ones and the ones with people in it. What did those people do? Are they like her? What rule did they break? Did they break it out of love or for their own selfish reasons? Are they awaited for death to call upon them? Is anyone from the Adjustment Center stuck behind one of these doors that they have walked past? Is Gibson and Annika here?

"I still don't exactly understand why this one person can be so important to my daughter. I just don't understand it."

The sound of Dr. Novak's voice surprises her. Because it's the first time Kenna has heard her like this, confused and irritated at not having control or answer over something. The one thing she doesn't have all the control over, her daughter.

"And that girl...what was her name again? Claire? Blaire? This girl from Faye's class...I don't understand how my dear daughter would ever——" Kenna stares at the struggle of Dr. Novak getting the words out. "Kiss her...it doesn't make sense, it's weird, disgusting, an anomaly, unjust, out of the ordinary——"

"It's not." Kenna breathes, awaiting for a slap across her cheek or a harsh yell.

But Dr. Novak stares at her instead and she doesn't look mad at Kenna's interruption. Her eyebrows furrowed together like a little kid trying to understand and make sense of something.

"I even got rid of her first roommate in that Adjustment Center who I thought was twisting her more into the wrong path. Gifting her these unneeded presents and being too friendly. I did what was right. And I thought I had fixed her, I thought she was starting to see the correct path again and that I can finally relax and send her off with a perfect match. But then...she had to come along. Skyler Johnson.

"I had the power to cast her out at the time but she reminded me too much of killing my own daughter since they were around the same age. And when I had read her backstory to why she was in trouble, where she was touched inappropriately by a boy and she fought him to his death in self defense, I thought, 'What's the harm? There's nothing a little fixing can't do.' At the time, I was so confident that I fixed Faye that I thought I could now also save other people's kids. So I labeled her punishment status as Adjustment Center."

Kenna watches Dr. Novak as she talks, who stares straight ahead of them as they walk the never ending grey halls. There's something in those grey eyes right now that doesn't make her feel so scared or mad right now. What is it? Then she knew, something that Dr. Novak has covered with such confidence all the time, vulnerability. Something that Kenna forgot Dr. Novak had, because everyone is vulnerable no matter what. And right now, Dr. Novak is laying it fair and bare right in front of her.

"I was too confident. And that was what failed me. Skyler got assigned to Faye's dorm, and something sparked in Faye. She did something to her. There was something different about Skyler from the other two girls that I got rid of. Faye was infected and damaged dramatically by her, this girl destroyed my beloved daughter. Faye had listened to me, she obeyed, she never pushed beyond the limits that I never wanted her to. But Skyler destroyed all of that, she brought something into her...she gave her hope that her behavior is okay, that it's tolerable. If I hadn't been spying on them myself, she would have taken my beloved Faye away from me, and brought her somewhere where I'll never find her.