Beyond Our Control

Chapter 41

 In Kenna's dreams, she dreamt of Annika crying at her bedside. Apologizing and apologizing. She wanted to tell her to stop, because she was the one who should be sorry. But she can't remember why she was sorry. Did she do something bad?

But the thoughts quickly drained away when a hum of soft lullaby wandered into her ears. It was unfamiliar and yet she also felt like she should know this. It went on for a very long time until the sound disappeared and she was left alone in a hollowed out blackness again.

She felt so lonely. So, so, lonely. So...sad. Why was she so sad again?

She tried to remember why, but she can't seem to recall. And part of her hissed at something. Like it wasn't her at all but also her.

Gone...

The words echoed and drifted.

She's gone...

YOU ARE NOTHING TO HER...

She wanted to close off her ears but she couldn't seem to feel her hands. She was just there, unable to move and surrounded with a pit of blackness. So she listened to the voice hissing at her. She pleaded for it to stop but it never did. So she listened and listened, looking hopefully on to what will be after this voice, after this lonely blackness...

When she opened her eyes, it was blurry.

The room is light, not dark, and she felt so thankful of the light she felt like she'll let it swallow her up.

Her eyes adjusted, and the first thing she saw was her body, a soft blanket draped over it. She shifted and felt a strike of sharp pain at the back of her waist near the left side, and then one of her shoulders.

She looked down at her right, and found her whole right arm, all the way from her shoulder to the end of her upper arm, near her elbow, covered by a white cast. She used her left hand to feel it, the material hard as a rock. She felt a little paranoid at this, because now her right arm is basically un-functional.

She lifted her blanket now to invest the pain coming from her back, only to find a huge gauge wrapped several layers around her waist.

She could feel one of her teeth missing in her mouth as her tongue whirled around the empty spot.

And now the memory hits her back.

She was shot, by that Dr. Walsh guy. And then when the explosion happened she——

"Hi, you're awake."

The deep and strange voice startles her. She shoots her eyes up to find a man, strong built and lean, his hair a color of ash blonde fading into grey from age. He smiles gently, his deep blue eyes aligned with his thin lips. But his eyes look puffy and red, like he has been crying for hours.

And then she notices Jess next to him, his expression strained and his usual pulled back blonde hair is messy and in his face.

Jess comes near her now and sits at the edge of her bed. He looks at her, his face defeated and tired.

He mutters, "I'm sorry."

Kenna blinked, her head felt heavy. And she could feel tears starting to emerge from her eyes and throat. She knew why she was so sad, why she was in so much pain, but she didn't want to think of it. Doesn't want to think of what had happened about...her.

"She's gone." Jess says, his expression looking more defeated. "They're all gone. Everyone and everything there. I-I should have seen it coming, how she had been talking about it, how she was acting, I should have seen that she was planning this all along. I——"