Beyond Our Control

Chapter 37

 The very first time when she saw blood was that day in the garden with Lina when she was six, under the rain. And that might have also been the time when she really really freaked out about it and was so scared. No, terrified.

The bullet had gone through her back, the idea of it being stuck in her body right now was uncomfortable, like a piece of copper or steel inside of you without permission. Almost the same feeling as an uninvited guest sitting in your house.

Her dress was soaked with blood, Jess's white blazer is now mostly red too. But she wasn't scared. Well, in honesty, she was, but not as scared as she should be, not as scared as she was when she was six.

Faye and her had made it outside, but she didn't stop walking. She didn't know where Faye was going, where she was taking her, but her blue eyes looked determined.

The breeze hits her bare feet that dangles in Faye's arms. Fresh air. It's been, what? A week? She hasn't been outside for so long and she felt so thankful for it. Her face hung loosely in her arms, facing up. The sky was a color of orange mixed with violet and blue, the sun starting to set. The view was beautiful, the air was clear and refreshening, she was in the arms of the person she loves, what more could she ask for? Oh right, to live.

"F-Faye?" Talking hurted, it shouldn't. Is this what people feel when they're dying?

Faye's face that's been looking straight forward looks down, her hair drooping down and brushing Kenna's cheek. She stops walking and sets Kenna down gently on the floor, letting her head rest on her lap. She looks around them before answering.

"Yes?"

Kenna smiles, the pain unable to stop her from doing that. "D-Did I ever tell y-you that you're the most beautiful p-person I've ever set m-my eyes on?"

Faye's stern and worried lips form a weak curve. "No, am I really?" There was a hint of tease in her voice.

Kenna nods, her eyes never leaving Faye's face. "Anyone w-will fall for y-you within a s-single breath by y-your beauty." She teases back, her smile only widening.

Faye smiles, but it looked crooked and upsetting. She shakes her head, raising a hand to pull the loose strands of hair that's in her face behind her ear. That's when Kenna sees it, from Faye's hands and all the way to the middle part of her upper arm, is drenched in Kenna's blood, the red liquid soaked into her black fitted clothing sleeves. The dark bright red all over her hands. When she tucks in the locks of hair, there's blood smeared on her light hair, some of it on her pale cheeks. Part of Kenna wanted to smile, because now every part of her was on Faye, forever with her, and she wished that her blood would stay on Faye and never wash off. She'll stick onto her Faye for as long as she can. Even as a stain.

But the other part of her was realizing this: she was dying.

"Not everyone." Faye says. "My face can't make everyone like me."

Kenna didn't mean it like that. She wasn't trying to say that Faye's looks are the only things that bring her all the charms and likeness from people. She was just trying to compliment her. Faye is more than just her looks, way more, but Kenna didn't know how to put all of them into words. How can she ever describe what she's feeling for someone so...unique and rare?

She reaches an arm up, wanting to stroke Faye's cheek. Instead, the tips of her fingers reached the silver star, the necklace Faye had always worn that was given from Skyler, hanging loosely on her neck.

She wanted to rip it off her neck and break it apart.

Faye notices the movement and looks at the silver star, she smiles.