Beyond Our Control

Chapter 10

 It took Kenna a while to finally clean out the water that had leaked from the bathtub. Her gauge wrap that covered her wound was soaked wet, after this she have to go see Ms. Edmund to get it rewrapped.

She squeezed out the last bits of water with a towel and into the sink. Standing up and looking admirably at how good she had cleaned.

Faye had gone off to bed as soon as Kenna helped clean her up and into clean clothes. She was worn out so Kenna let her go off to bed. After that, even though she was tired herself, she cleaned up the mess in the bathroom. Still in her drenched dirty clothes, she was shivering. Hopefully she wouldn't get sick after this.

An hour later, after cleaning herself up and changing into clean clothes she slipped into her bed, closing her eyes. The opened windows let in a fresh breeze, the sound of people chattering as they worked. The sunlight slipping in, leaving a warm brushed feeling under her skin. Taking in deep breaths, she wanted to forget everything. How good would it be if she could just start over. Forget everything, everyone, that has ever happened to her. Like a blank piece of paper that hasn't been marked yet. But if she were a piece of a paper right now, she thought, she would be filled with scribbles and marks. No matter how hard you try to erase the marks and scribbles, it will only be rubbed into more scrubs and end up crumbling the paper. Destroying it completely, where then the only choice left would be to throw it away. When is that going to happen to her? Will she be thrown away after she has no more use?

No matter how much she tries to rest and relax, it only seemed to be that the world was never going to let her do so. Thoughts overfilled her mind when she lays down, chaos tied with her everywhere she went. When has her life become this hard and complicated? All she ever wanted was to have everything go through and blend in with everyone else and be normal. When has it been that her life only seemed to go further and further away from that?

The dinner bell rang and she got out of her bed, the thoughts slowly slipping away as she tried to think of what was for dinner. She took another one of her pills, hoping that it would somehow maintain more of her emotions. For some reason, it felt like the pills weren't working very well, outbursts of thoughts and pain continuously surrounded her.

She had hung her jacket near the window silt, thankfully it wasn't windy or else her jacket might have been blown away. Still a little soaked from the water, Kenna swung it over her shoulders. It wasn't like she had another jacket. She quickly turned on the self heating button, that way maybe the jacket will dry itself.

Walking toward the front door, a voice stopped her.

"Mind if I walk with you to dinner?"

Kenna turned around and found Faye coming out of her room and closing the door behind her. She wore the same self heating jacket and clothes Dr. Novak had given to Kenna. But she somehow managed to look special in it. A necklace hung around her neck, silver, shining brightly with a decoration of a star in the center. Faye had done her hair again, it wasn't in the messy curls that she left randomly when she tried to drown herself. The same up down styled braid, just like in that picture. Her eyes sparkled and smiled, while her cheeks and lips barely budged. So good at hiding her expression whenever she wanted to, Kenna found it fascinating.

"Y-yeah, I mean I don't mind." Startled and surprised, Kenna looked away as Faye caught up to her.

As they walked out, everyone was too busy to notice them. Rushing to get first in line for food. Faye suddenly stopped as they stepped foot outside, she looked down at the dirt beneath her feet.

"What is it?" Kenna stopped, waiting for Faye.

"Nothing's changed. It's been two years...the dirt is still the same color. The skies are still the same blue, with the same creamy clouds." She looked up and so did Kenna, the blue blending in with violet as the sun started to set. "And that same smell..." Faye inhaled as she closed her eyes to enjoy this, enjoying what Kenna could not possibly understand.