I loved you first(BoyxBoy)

~Chapter 19~

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| Niall's POV |

I was finally DEAD!!

You don't know how long I've waited for this day to happen.

No more pain.Finally.I don't have to feel anything anymore.No more feeling like a piece of shit.

But if I'm dead how come I can still hear what the doctors are saying, and I can still feel my body?

All I see is darkness.I hear everything around me, but I can't see it.

Even in the after life I feel worthless.At least in the real world I had someone by my side to face everything, but now I was really alone.I didn't have someone to cuddle or to even talk to.

I only had the voices.It was the voices that made me do everything that had cause me pain.

No it wasn't, it was all you Niall.

I didn't do anything!! You made me cut,your the reason I'm fucking dead!!

Niall,Niall,Niall,when will you understand? We're family we're here to help you ,not to cause you pain.We told you to keep going and you did.It's not our fault you went too deep.

Yes it is! Why can't you just get out out of my fucking head!

We can't.Were here to stay,as long as you need us.Forever.we will never leave you.You need us.

I cannot be arguing with things that don't even exist. I'm my own person it must have been the injuries that made me lose my mind.Let's face it I've got hit quite a lot in the head when I was younger.

Yea, that's what caused these voices im hearing.That must be it.

It's not. No matter what you do, where you are, we'll always be here. You can't make us disappear.No matter how hard you try.

Please leave me alone, just for today I need to be alone for a while please I'll do anything!

OK ,just for today.Just know we'll be back ,and that's a promise. We never brake a promise.Never.

I waited 5 minutes and they were gone... For now.

This is the first time in weeks that I've had time to myself. No voices, no Bobby, no Louis, and no Zayn.