I loved you first(BoyxBoy)

~Chapter 6~

Another update in the same day!!!
Ill try and keep doing 2 updates in one day but idk yet.

**Some triggering parts**

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|Zayns POV|

He's gone he left.I remember the day he went to the bridge and went to kill himself and he did.

I haven't touched any food for 8 days.I don't need food I need to die.I didnt even know him for more than 3 days and I caused him to die.I wonder if his family misses him. I sure do.
I shouldn't feel this way I'm not gay.Maybe it was only him I was gay for.

His eyes were like the ocean.I could get lost in them and I wouldn't want to find a way out.They made you feel happy and joyful even though he clearly wasnt.

His hair was so soft and silky. I wish I could have run my hands through his wonderful hair.It was blonde but you could tell it was dyed or bleached.He had brown roots and it made his hair sexier.

And oh that body.He wasnt muscular and he wasn't skinny he was in between. He had creamy pale skin and I wanted to roam my hands over his body.

I wish I could have known him better.I wanted to be the reason he would laugh or smile.Be the only thing he thought of when he first woke up or last thing he thinks of before going to sleep.

I havent been going to school because I don't want to be reminded of all the things I did to him and said.

Today is the first time I'm going back to school in 10 days.I'm surprised they haven't kicked me out yet.

I really could care less of my appearance.I'm pretty sure I look a mess. I left my hair down I didn't have the energy to do my hair. I wore my black skinny jeans and a Sleeping with sirens shirt and walked out the door.

I finally arrived to school and everyone surrounded me.

"Zayn.. Zayn.. where have you been ???"

"Hey babe wanna meet after school"

"Sexy bad boy come to my party!!"

I didn't answer or even try to fake a smile. I went right to my locker.

"Hey Mate where have you been ?" Harry asked

"I don't know around I guess."

"Well you missed it little blonde faggot hasn't been in school for 8 days haha "

I was angry how could he ?!?

My fist were balled up and I was trying my best to stay calm

"Just get the fuck away from me alright. " I said through gritted teeth.

I didnt want to cause a scene so I slammed my locker door a little to hard. And I walked away.

The day has passed so slowly and I just wanted to go home and smoke some weed for a bit. Ever since Niall has died I started smoking.I was always to scared to try but guess what now I'm not.

I think I might have a problem but I don't care.

I was walking through the hall deep in thought when all of a sudden I bumped into someone.

"Watch where the fuck your going alright?!"

"I'm so-o so-rry "