You're not alone

Chapter 3 - Back in Cairhien

After Moiraine's heartbreaking decision, she has nowhere to go, so she decides to find her sister.

The sound of neighing horses woke Moiraine from her sleep. Her eyes fell on the window, and she saw the sun was already up. Groaning, she turned to the other side and closed her eyes again. How could it be morning? She felt like she had barely slept last night! This must be some kind of trickery!

Outside, the Cairhien woman heard a female voice shouting something inaudible, but she had no idea what it was about. The only thing she did notice was that the woman got angrier by the second. Well, this didn't bother her. She would empty her thoughts and return back to...

A loud thud against the outside wall of the house – pretty much at the same height Moiraine's head lay on her pillow – brought the Aes Sedai back to her senses in an instant and made her lift her head.

Again, the woman outside yelled something inaudible, and cursing, Moiraine pushed herself into a sitting position.

"All right, all right. I'm awake," she mumbled, glaring at where she assumed the mysterious object – probably a stone – had hit the wall. "There are easier ways to wake someone." Sighing, Moiraine got out of bed and went for the basin to fill it with water to wash herself.

Her room wasn't big, but it got a bed – which was big enough for two people to sleep in if they liked to cuddle – a wardrobe for her few clothes, a shelf filled with books, a table and two chairs for her studies – and sometimes to eat her dinner in her room – and a bathtub to take a relaxing bath after an especially exhausting day.

Once she was done with washing, Moiraine pulled out one of her new dresses – a beautiful blue robe with long sleeves worn over a white-blue underdress, held together by a thick belt around her waist. Soon after she had arrived in this house, Moiraine had paid a visit to a tailor to get herself new clothes. She barely had anything with her when she had arrived almost two weeks ago and didn't assume to leave anytime soon, so she needed something to wear.

Her eyes fell on a small bundle of clothes, neatly folded and placed on the bottom of the wardrobe – her traveling clothes. The clothes she had worn while she had traveled with Lan.

Her heart ached at the thought of her former companion. Light, she missed him! He had always known what she needed just by giving him a glance. He had barely talked – just like her – and she had enjoyed his silence, yet knowing he was still present – always by her side or one step behind her.

Moiraine's eyes started to burn when tears built up. She knew it was dangerous to think about Lan. Each night, she cried herself to sleep, thinking about what she had lost and wishing he was there with her to wrap her in this bubble of safety only his arms could provide.

Quickly, the woman of the Blue Ajah closed the door of her wardrobe. She needed to focus on the present and not on the past. Lan wasn't there. He was in Tar Valon, watching over Nynaeve and Egwene.

Although a part of her wondered if her sisters had already found a way to release him from their bond. Would she feel the break since she had masked the bond? Was it possible he was already freed from her? Well, at least this means he will spend some time training with the other Warders in the White Tower. He will be an excellent partner for Nynaeve once she's raised to Aes Sedai and bonds him as her Warder.

Another stab to the heart. Although that life had been what she had wanted for Lan, it pained her to think of him as the Warder of another woman. He had been hers for twenty years – her Warder, partner, friend... her soulmate. And now this was all over.