Leaving All I've Ever Known (Camren)

18. Yellow

"How you convinced us to wake up at 4am, get our hair and make-up done, just to come all the way up here and take a photo to post announcing we're performing at the Grammys, will be one of your biggest accomplishments as of yet DJ."

Normani ends her speech with a huff, obviously feeling worn out from all the walking we've done. Lauren and Ally follow her, and they're all not so far behind from Dinah and me, who lead the way.

"That's saying something." Dinah exaggerates, clearly also a little bit out of breath. "We're nearly at the top. The sky looks beautiful out here. Perfect selfie location."

We walk a little further up, happy to see the clearing about 5 minutes away from us.

Dinah and I walk in a comfortable silence, I haven't really spoken to anyone much since we started the hike. Neither did I talk in the limo. Nor at the hotel.

Since Megan broke up with me yesterday, I've been quiet. Though no one has questioned me on it. Maybe they know that whatever it is, they shouldn't ask.

Except for Dinah.

"So, Mila. How're you feeling since rehearsals yesterday? You spent a lot of time with Lauren, did you manage to explain to her that you got spiked? I'm sure she'll understand once she knows that." She playfully elbows my on my arm. "Are you guys good?"

I run a hand through my freshly blow dried hair, not knowing where to start. Lauren and I spoke about our argument, and now I think we're okay. But that's not my issue anymore. I'll have to start somewhere with Dinah, since she'll eventually get whatever she wants out of me. But I can't just say what happened, can I? I guess I could just rip off the band-aid...

"Megan broke up with me."

"What?!-"

Having made sure anyone within a 1-mile radius from this mountain top has heard her, Dinah looks back at 3 questioning pairs of eyes.

"-What is that bird over there?" She points dramatically.

Thankfully, Ally - knower of all things cute - sells Dinah's story better than she ever could as all of us look over to the big bird she gawks at.

"Ohh my God, it's a Red-Tailed Hawk. Dinah, it's a Red-Tailed Hawk!"

I lift my hand up to my forehead, snorting at this ridiculous yet totally expected interaction. It's the first time I've laughed all morning, so I'll take it.

"Sorry." Dinah whispers, not that she needs to, as there's a big enough distance between us and the rest of the girls. That is, unless she shouts again.

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, I guess. But Megan's been wanting our relationship to go public for a while now and -" I kick a medium-sized rock off the path as we continue our hike, my brain needing to partly focus on something else. "- I'm still not ready to deal with what people are going to think and say about me."

Dinah doesn't say anything and instead nods.

"She said she can't be kept a secret anymore and left. I guess that time it was the straw that broke the camel's back, if that makes sense?"

"Yeah, I can see how she must feel. She can't express herself fully to you outside private areas. It must be hard." I nod in agreement, also having felt that way too. "But you can't feel guilty for not being ready. I swear you had this same conversation with her a few days ago... And every time we've spoken the past few months, this has always something you tell me you guys argue about. She has been pushy."

"I guess... but it must be hard feeling like you're gonna wait forever -"

"- Pfft." Dinah interrupts. "You guys have been together less than a year, and she's your first serious girlfriend since, you know. And she can't understand everything you've gone through, Mila. For years, people constantly questioned your sexuality. It was so public, too. Let's be real, the only person who can fully relate to you, is Lauren."