FORCED TO MARRY AND I CHOSE YOU

51

My eyes flap open and I let them scan my surroundings. White and blue walls stare right back at me and the horrible smell of disinfectant tells me straight away that I'm in a hospital. Looking outside the window,its not hard to tell that its morning...the sun has just risen. I look down at my baby bump,great relief washes over me when I find it still there. Hii Pumpkin,I smile while rubbing my bump. I'm confused as to how I got here and why I'm here. I'm trying to piece everything back together when suddenly the memories flood back in like water being forcefully swept away.

But it can't be! Its either I was dreaming, day dreaming,hallucinating,having a vision,imagining it or all of the above. Because there's no way in hell that I saw him! That he spoke to me! That he was at my door step,late at night! That I heard his deep husky voice! I eventually get tired of stressing myself over something that I can't figure out...I need answers. So let's start by calling the doctor. I don't have to search further for the emergency button as its on the right side of my bed. I press it with so much determination and force. 1,2,3,4,5 that's me counting how many seconds until a nurse shows up. When I get to 8 and still no one has entered my ward,I press it again.

1,2,3,4 now I'm cut off at 5. A nurse walks in,clearly not in the best moods and I guess that its thanks to my impatient self. "Good morning" I cheerfully greet her,ignoring her not so friendly attitude. "How can I help you?" She asks,ignoring my happy greeting. Mxm,"i said good morning. Its very early in the morning for such" now my smile flies out the window and a resting bitch face takes over my face as I point at her gloomy face. I see her gulping down saliva as she looks a bit intimidated by my serious face and change of attitude. "Good..." She forces a smile up on her face and tries to greet me back. However im already past that point so I interject.

"Can I please see the doctor." I demand and her fake smile immediately falls off. She frowns before saying "the doctor is not yet in,can I help you?" She insists. "You can help by telling me how did I get here,who brought me here?" I ask her. "A family member" she says dryly. I quirk up an eyebrow at her disrespect. "No shit Sherlock,who brought me in and why am I here!" I yell surprising both her and me. Where did that come from? "Dr Baloyi signed your admission form" thats all she says. "Are you okay?" She asks now in concern,I'm over here doing breathing exercises as I feel like I'm losing my mind.

"Which doctor Baloyi?" I ask,looking past her concern. "Mrs Mmabatho Baloyi" she answers still giving me a concerned look. I myself don't know what's wrong with me so she shouldn't bother asking me. I look at the wall as NOTHING makes sense. Why am I? Who brought me here? How is Mmabatho involved in this and finally did I see my late husband last night!!? "Did anyone come to see me?" I move my eyes from the wall and look at the nurse. What I really want to ask is Did Hlanganani come to see me? "No,not yet. Its not yet visiting hours" she informs me and I nod my head.

When I ask for Mmabatho I'm told that she isn't here. I look around for my cellphone and lucky me I find it in my bedside locker. For some odd reason as I scroll down my contact list searching for Mmabatho's contact. I instead land on Hlanganani's. I dial his number and just as expected nothing happens. Absolutely NOTHING...but im used to this nothingness. Guess that this proves that what I saw last night wasn't real. I then dial Mmabatho's number.
Her: "va mhana Pumpkin(Pumpkin's mother)?" she answers in her usual tone.
Me: "mhana Amu(Amu's mother)" and with that,we get the greetings over and done with.

Me: "how...why?" I can't even ask this simple question without fumbling over my words. I take a deep breathe in and ask again "how did I get here and why am I here?" I try to sound a bit confident in my confusion.
Her: "you don't remember?" She asks and I say No although I do remember vividly my encounter with what I think is my husband's ghost.
Her: "well I received a text from you last night. You said that you are in pain,you have contractions and I came to your house." She speaks ever so casually as if its no big deal. But it isn't...you are just allowing a ghost to stress you out.

Yho if she says that,that is what happened then angisazi keh. It means that I really don't remember shit from last night. She tells me that she found me passed out on the couch. And yhu that's news to me. If I "remember" clearly,I was at the door noHlanganani now how did I make it to the couch? See this is proof that it was all just a dream. I don't tell her about what I "think" happened,I just thank her for her side of events and she goes on to ask about my health. There's nothing to complain about...I'm okay,I feel okay yet confused.

I end the call and go to the bathroom to relieve myself of this pressing pee. When I come back,I receive a call from my father in-law. "Why didn't you tell me that you are hospitalised,I had to hear it from Mmabatho?" The old man asks after passing the greeting phase. I laugh,can someone tell him that I just woke up now and I'm still confused myself.
Me: "hau baba,nam ngisanda kuvuka manje" I tell him. He asks me about uPumpkin and what seems to be cause of my hospitalisation. I tell him the truth...that Pumpkin is okay however I'm still waiting for the doctor to tell me. Stupid me didn't even ask the nurse.

I ask him if he's okay because since we started talking,I could hear it in his voice that something is wrong. My suspicions are confirmed when he sighs loudly and keeps quiet.
Me: "Bava ku humelela yini(dad what's going on)?" I ask now worrying that it might be bad.
Him: "I don't know if I should tell you this or not. I don't want you to worry especially in your condition but at the same time,you deserve to know." Now my heart beat picks up its pace.
Me: "please tell me" I plead with him and again he let's out that defeated sigh.

Him: "I woke up this morning to find Hlanganani's grave vandalised" he says shocking me. The hell!!?
Me: "vandalised how?" Now I'm thinking the worst,what if they took his body!?
Him: "ribye ra yena ri tshovekile(his tombstone is broken). Looks like it was smashed with a hammer or something." He says,you can hear it in his voice that he is stressed and broken.
Me: "did they,did they uhm dig him out?" I'm even sacred of asking the question but more scared of knowing the answer.
Him: "no,no,no" he says quickly. "They just destroyed his tombstone. The grave was untouched." He explains.

Now this has me thinking,if his tombstone was destroyed last night and I saw him last night. Could it be that his ghost was looking for a place to stay because its home was broken into? I could tell my father in-law what I remember from last night,but I don't want to worry him even further. Plus who would believe that I saw a ghost!? Anyways he tells me that he wants to consult with a sangoma to know exactly what this means. Because in all his life, he has never seen such. However he says that bhuti Akani advised him against it. Apparently he has answers and is heading home today to speak to his dad.

We end the call after he promises to call and check up on me later today. And to also call and give me an update about what's actually going on. Now I'm creeped out. Like I had an encounter with a ghost or maybe I dreamt it because apparently I texted Mmabatho saying that I have contractions.