Wait For You in 5 Stages

Ch. 6 : Phase 2 Process

After my breathing calmed down and my throat stopped hurting, I sat up. I crept down the hallway of Camille's house towards the bathroom. I shut the door and grabbed the edges of the sink.

It was getting hard to look at myself in the mirror. Memories replayed of when Lumine and I fought for the bathroom and would grab and drag each other, laughing uncontrollably. Or when I wake up earlier than Lumine and he would walk in while I brushed my teeth and would tell me how fluffy my hair looked. Or when I would come up behind Lumine and pat out the snowflakes in his hair after we just got back home.

Home? Home... home is where my memories are made. My favorite memories. I could call the stairs outside in Terranevo home. I could call my room in Solefor home. I could call the tents of the Werewolf tribe home. I could call the woods behind Neptune HQ home. Can I call Lumine home? I wish I could call him home. I really do miss him. I want him back.

I can't believe the world stripped me of everything. I truly believe I am the universe's greatest enemy. There has been nothing for me in my life to make me believe my future has potential like other kids. Taking my best friend away from me after I lost my family and home is the most brutal thing a god can do.

I stopped believing in gods a long time ago for this reason. People say to pray and ask for forgiveness but I was just a baby. I was baby when my mother hated and abused me. I was just a child. I was just a child when I had to run away from home and change my name. I am only thirteen. And I have nothing. Lumine was only about thirteen when he died. We're just kids. Why would any god do that?

I hate this world. I can't even put it into words the hate I feel when I think that everything and everyone was taken away from me. I feel so much hatred when I think of every moment Lumine was treated unfairly. Lumine changed my life.

Lumine was the most beautiful and pure soul I have ever met. He was my first real friend and he made me realize a lot of things. He cared for me and I cared for him. He put his life on the line for me. And I couldn't even do that for him.

If I could trade places with Lumine right now, I would do it in an instant. I would feel lonely being dead without him but I would be able to watch him grow up and smile again. How can I call myself a good friend? How can I believe that I was a good son? I understand that I am a disease. I am the most unbearable person I can be. I HATE WHAT IS GIVEN TO ME.

I'm not ungrateful. I'm reasonable. How could anyone take away the life of a kind boy like Lumine. He was just a kid and I know he had so much potential. Everyone loved him. I....

Why is it that everyone around me dies? Why is it everyone but me?