Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt.34 : Acceptance : Finale

Once our conversations started getting slower, Lumine eventually grew silent.

A breeze of cool air rushed between us; I shuddered in return.

"Well, do you have any more questions?", I desperately wanted him to answer me.

Lumine weakly breathed out a quick, "mm", signifying his surrender to our chat.

I sighed and pushed myself off of the swingset. "Cmon, I wanna keep walking."

My breathing slowed into a hesitant rhythm, shuddering with the weight of my unspoken words. Every few minutes I stole a glance towards Lumine to ensure his presence remained beside me. Luckily, he faithfully followed, as I had always done for him before.

As I walked, I consistently repeated to myself that this is going to likely be the last time I see him for good. I had already been absent of his grace for months, but I am now accustomed to the terrifying feeling of losing him forever. I wouldn't say I'm ready, but I'm definitely used to the feeling.

As we walked, each step pushed back memories we shared in our short-time of knowing each other.  Memories like when he would share our food, our first hug, our conversations, such memories that will only always be in the past. My stomach started sinking as we grew closer to... the forest.

We eventually made it, our walk only once broken up by Lumine asking, "Where are we going?". I didn't reply.

This spot in the forest was gorgeous. It was a scene we had seen before, when we had been first teleported here and stood on a cliff overlooking the whole city of Terranevo. The sun was beginning to set, followed by small snowflakes floating down.

We sat on the edge, watching, waiting.

I tried to gather everything I needed to say, yet it was impossible to make it any shorter than an eternity. I played with the snow under me.

"I'll miss you" ,my voice immediately trembling. I couldn't bring myself to look at him just yet. Instead, I leaned against his shoulder.

"I'll miss you too Kody."

"It's so unfair...I'm- sorry." Warm tears poured from my eyes.

In the past few months I had spent grieving him, I feel that I've shed the skin of who I was before. I regret every past action and attitude that I used to upset him. I regret growing up into a teenager that resented my father, and for prioritizing the spirit of my departed cat. It seems I'll always be cursed to realize my love for someone only after they're gone.

My melancholy and gloomy character was completely forgotten, I had never truly felt pain before, only now that I've lost everything. My snappy personality was just a show of my cowardice, of never being able to speak my mind.

Lumine let out a weak laugh. "Stop apologizing! I'm not used to that yet."

Still, even in his final moments, he teased me.

I snickered. I pushed myself off him and leaned to get a look at his face. He looked like himself again. He wasn't transparent anymore and his body was restored from those scars. His skin was pale, glowing. I spent time admiring him, yet he still looked out into the distance.

I looked away, leaning back against his arm.

"Will you be alright on your own?", Lumine started.

"When will you learn to quit worrying about me?", I replied.

We laughed it off.

"I'll be okay now. I learned enough from you.. I think. Just know I'll be fine.", I patted his shoulder and forced a smile whilst pushing back tears.

The sky began growing darker.

"I'll see you soon Lumine."

"Don't say that. I'll see you eventually, not soon."

"Pft- oh yea. I'll see you again sometime then."

"Promise?"

"....

pinky promise."

Lumine's figure began to grow faint, an outline of himself blurring. Wisps of mist hugged him, welcoming him back to his limbo. I was watching Lumine become a fleeting memory and vanish before my eyes.

Just as I had watched Bill disappear, my body relaxed. I sat back, focused on the specks of mist that twinkled around his skin. 

My mind felt clear. Nothing more for me to think about and nothing more for me to act on. All that I could do was simply say goodbye.

Lumine watched his hands fade and then looked up towards the sky as if he could see something. He lingered for a moment, before looking towards me. The last details of Lumine smiled at me, a warm and purely happy smile that sent a reassuring shiver through my body.

He mouthed his final words to me. These words, being painfully familiar with those I've departed with in the past.

'Take care, Kody.'

His body, barely discernible, waved goodbye.  As I let out a slow and gentle sigh, Lumine dissolved into darkness, becoming both nothing and everything at the same time.

Thats right, he had finally escaped. No longer being bound to a single, solitary being, but instead merging into every aspect of my world. He is now boundless and no longer caged. He is now free to roam and explore as he was meant to before, forgetting his past as merely a wolf-boy who was hunted all his life.

Today, I walked back home alone.

Returning home, I find Camille and Sera sleeping on the couch, still in their casual clothes. I looked before them, at the coffee table in front of them, to find a small white cake with a strawberry on top. Perhaps they had waited for me to come home.

I take off my hoodie and kick my shoes off, close the blinds, and lean against the sofa they were sleeping on.

For the first time in months, I was able to breathe calmly and relax completely. I no longer felt a suffocating sensation by simply being alive. I no longer had the intentions of 'waiting' for him. The anticipation of his arrival is no longer expected because he had gone without me. This time, he'll wait for me.

The grief that had been an unbearable burden on me had suddenly lifted. It had now become a part of me, turned into evidence of the love we shared for each other.

My eyes grew heavy and I accepted the new weight of the world that will eventually take over me. Rebuilding myself. The world outside became distant, forcing my consciousness to slip away.

Eventually, I fell asleep alongside Sera and Camille, in a place I can comfortably call home and a newfound sense of self that grows from my past with a sweet werewolf boy named Lumine.

Thank you for reading Wait For You in 5 Stages. May you go on to healthily explore the depths of love that comes with the simplicities of waiting for others and the complexities of grief. I appreciate all the support.

"Take care!"

- kormemory