Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt.22 : Goodnight

It was around 12am now. The sun had set long ago and my stomach was starting to rumble. Surprisingly, Camille hadn't come home yet.

My eyes ached. My throat felt itchy and my face was drenched in tears. Me and Lumine had stopped talking about 20 minutes ago. We were leaned back on the couch, my head resting on his shoulder. Lumine seemed to be sleeping while I stared into the glass table in front of us. I felt both incredibly weak but incredibly calm.

After we had discussed about what happened to him. I started to think about our future. What is there to come for us? We both realized he's prone to disappear at any moment but what if that's years into the future? What if he disappears tomorrow? Our future together is completely unpredictable and that scares me so bad.

I wonder what this means to him. Me leaning on his shoulder and how we held each other, sobbing together for the first time. We had been friends for a while but nothing was ever intimate and revealing as this moment. To me, I had never felt this kind of affection in my life.

I would usually cut off everyone around me before they got too close. I even hated when dad would hug me or pat my head. I never let anyone touch me or see me destroyed like this. Lumine was the only one. I looked up at him and watched him slowly breathe in and out. This was peaceful. This is new. I never knew I liked something like this. I felt safest with a kid I accidentally bumped into a few months ago.

I slowly got up to close the curtains behind us, taking a peek at the night snow outside. As I made my way back to the couch, I heard the front door unlocking. I froze in place, afraid for a second. Then I saw Camille push the door open and look over at me.

"Oh Kody! What are you doing up so late?"

I looked over to the couch. She did too. The couch was faced away from me at this point.

She looked back at me and smiled a weak smile.

"Oh were you sleeping on the couch tonight? Sorry If I scared you."

Wait.

I rushed over to the couch, almost slipping as I turned to check.

He was gone.

I stared. Hot tears started dripping down my face again. My heart felt empty and I started feeling nauseous again.

There was a slight indent on the couch from where he was sleeping. He couldn't have disappeared now right? A wave of fear hit me as I realized it could've be the last time I ever seen him. I sit down on the couch and let my tears flow, hiccuping and wiping my nose.

Camille threw her things down and ran over to me, sitting in his spot and placing her hand on my back. I couldn't interpret what she was saying over my loud thoughts. Was Lumine gone for good? I'm afraid. I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to really tell him anything at all. I wanted to tell him everything about me. I wanted to show him so many things.

By 1am, I had passed out from crying and slept on the couch that night. Camille gently placed a blanket over me. I didn't get to tell her what happened and I knew I left her feeling anxious. I was so tired that I couldn't move my body, I was just aware. I felt sorry for her, I appreciated the gesture of her trying to help me although now I feel embarrassed that I broke down in front of her like that. I'll explain tomorrow.

Goodnight Lumine.