Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt.30 : Dwindle

I will never blame you for the way I feel.

The world around us is so cruel to kids like us. When I first met you I pushed everyone away, my silent cry for help. My stomach turns when I remember the face you would make when I scowled at you and would raise my voice at you.

Now, I whisper your name as a desperate plea to make things better again.

I am still on the sidewalk of your hometown, my throat scratching for air through my uncontrollable cries. For some reason, I can't stop it. I feel extremely embarrassed and afraid being out in the open on my own just sobbing on the floor. But I seriously can't even bring myself to move.

I'm stuck with my knees and elbows on the ground, my head hanging down. It seems as if I'm doing a prayer, or trying to call the Earth. But no one comes to me, no one checks on the kid who's choking back tears. It's ironic.

My head is pulsing and my body is growing weak. My thoughts feel blurred and all I can think of is the wetness seeping into my sweater. I slowly fall on my side, laying on the wet disgusting floor. I have never felt this way before.

My lowest point in my life, laying on the snowy street of Terranevo, all alone, gasping for air and remembering how I am truly on my own. I really don't want to feel this way tomorrow.

I can't even bring myself to think of calling out to Lumine. Or my dad, or even Bill. I wouldn't want them to see me like this. It's selfish.

I close my eyes.

I just want to sleep here forever.

I want to feel the comfort of my bed in Solefor. I just want to be a kid in my father's arms. I want to run around in the woods like when I was 6. I seriously can't do this anymore.

Beyond the voice of my dwindling will, I hear a faint scream. A yell that keeps on. It's getting louder and I also hear sounds of snow crunching I think.

My slow breathing comes to a stop as I hold my breath. I open my eyes slightly.

I see two blurry figures running towards me. I sigh. At this point, I didn't want to be saved again.

The figures kneel down beside me and flip me onto my back. They check my pulse and sit me up while holding my back.

Their hands are warm. One smells faintly like lavender and the other like cedar wood. I stare down at my hands that are limp in my lap. Warm tears are still spilling from my eyes but I'm no longer making any noise.

One figure wraps their hand around the back of my head and leans me into their shoulder. I was being embraced.

I started breathing faster, confused. I shifted my head to get a better look at their clothes.

Ah... I should've known.

Camille and Sera.