KIWI | H.S.

twenty five.

August 1, 2016

I'm gently stirred from my deep slumber by the insistent ringing of my phone, a distant echo in the silence of the night. As consciousness hesitantly returns, the call abruptly halts before I get to it, only to resume just as I'm on the cusp of reclaiming my precious sleep.

Even without opening my eyes, I can sense it's the dead of night, somewhere suspended between midnight and the early hours of dawn. My groan escapes involuntarily as I blindly fumble for my phone, fingertips tapping the screen without the courtesy of my eyes opening.

"Hello?" I greet, a palpable weariness lacing my voice.

"Sienna, thank God." Harry's voice reaches me with urgency, a tremor resonating beneath his words.

Is he crying?

"H, what's wrong?" I inquire, a mix of concern and sleepiness clouding my thoughts, still not fully awake.

"Are you okay?" His anxious inquiry hangs in the air.

What?

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been sleeping since we talked earlier," I reassure him with confusion. "H, what's going on? It's one-thirty in the morning here... which makes it, what, four something over there? Why are you up?"

A shaky exhale escapes his before his next words, "Is the baby okay?"

I'm momentarily taken aback.

"Yes, H. I checked on her yesterday, and she's thriving, remember?" As if on cue, our unborn daughter starts kicking around, as if to prove her vitality. "Kicking me right now, actually."

His choked sob is palpable through the phone.

"Harry, you're scaring me," I admit, my maternal instincts on high alert.

"I... you... I had a dream, and..." he struggles, emotions evident in his voice. "I couldn't breathe. You... you didn't make it, and I wasn't there."

Understanding dawns, and I respond gently, "Harry, both me and baby girl are just fine. We're not going anywhere."

His sniffles and hiccups echo across the line and I take a moment to fully wake up and process how he's feeling.

"H, can we switch to FaceTime? Would it help to see me?" I suggest.

"Please," he whispers, vulnerability lingering in his trembling voice.

I quickly pull my phone closer, squinting at the brightness with bleary eyes and tapping the button to switch over to a video call.

It's challenging to see him through the darkness on his end. Realizing it's probably the same for me, I switch on the bedside lamp, despite my eyeballs begging me not to. He needs to see me.

"Y'so pretty." He tells me. "Gonna be such a good mum."

He's deflecting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything, but based on the shadows in his room, I can see him shake his head.

"Can, you play me something, or sing for me?" He requests, shocking me. "You calm me down."

And how could I say no to that?

"Of course, is piano okay? I don't think I can sing at this hour." I ask.

"Yeah," he sniffles, "can do anything, just need you."

I get out of bed, sliding my feet into a pair of slippers as I quietly make my way down the stairs, slipping on a robe as well to keep warm.