Salty Licorice

Chapter 72

Marisa's POV

Avery came back late last night, and I can't keep the image of her and Liz doing things Liz and I have. It hurts but I keep repeating the same phrase over and over again. I don't love her, I love the idea of her. It hurts but the truth is just that, because if I was truly in love with Liz then I wouldn't see her as a helpless girl who needs my protection and instead as someone who I simply just want to have in my life.

It was funny though this afternoon, when Avery had to get ready for work. She was singing in the shower, she never sings at most she'll hum along to a tune or whisper the lyrics to a song but never sing. But she was just singing along to whatever song she was playing. It was amusing when a rap song came on and she actually impressed me. She rapped along to the whole song without missing a lyric or faltering the rhythm even a little. After I heard the shower stop running and she stopped singing I made my way to the kitchen.

Now I'm making her a sandwich before her shift and also wrapped her a homemade burrito for her break at work before she heads out. I hear her humming along to some rap song she has playing through her phone as she descends the stairs. If there's one thing that will get me through this heartbreak it's going to be watching my best friend genuinely be happy for the first time since I've met her.

"Someones in a good mood," I comment, startling her as she sneaks a drink from the carton of orange juice straight from the fridge.

"I didn't see you there," She stamers out as she wipes her mouth off with the sleeve of her hoodie before putting the carton back.

"Do you do that often?" I squint my eyes at her as I hold out the sandwich and a brown lunch bag that holds her burrito.

She takes them gingerly before rocking up on her toes and back again glancing out the kitchen window. She's acting like a child who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar, I smirk at the idea.

"No," She whispers nearly inaudibly.

"You wanna try that again, but this time much more convincingly?"

"No," She bites her inner cheek as she avoids my eyes.

"Burrito in the bag, don't eat it till your break at work. Sandwich for now, go before you're late." I nod towards the door, why do I sound like a mother. "Oh and extra pens, you were complaining about customers taking yours." I toss her a new box of pens as she pushes open the door, almost dropping all her things to catch the box. I silently watch her fumbling.

"Thanks Risa!" She shouts back to me as she rushes to her truck with her sandwich hanging from between her teeth.

I just shake my head, she is a mess of a human being. But sometimes it's her messiness that is kind of endearing in a strange way. I've always felt safe around her and I've never understood why. Maybe it's her goofy attitude or just complete oblivious nature but there's just something about her that makes you feel okay, and quite honestly amused. I think it helps that she's messy even when the world isn't messy so when life does get messy you just breathe through it and know that if Avery's handling it then you'll be okay too.

I sit down at the kitchen table and look out the window and watch Mateo kick around his soccer ball around the yard, he starts doing some of the dribbling drills he's learned from practice before he starts trying to juggle the ball, I recognize some of his tricks as things Avery has taught him and let a small smile form.

"At least she's taught him drive and determination," My fathers voice startles me slightly, making my face drop back to its neutral expression. "You don't have to hide from me." He sits across from me. "You put on this facade in front of everyone, why?"