If She Gives You Her Heart Don't You Break It || Kate & Leo Oneshots

Garden of Eden.

Based on the Celtic Woman Song "Garden of Eden" sung by Éabha (Ava) McMahon.

***

July 2005

"What was your relationship with her like? When was the last time you spoke to her?" My therapist, Julie, asked, a stern expression on her face. She didn't dare say her name, and neither did I. But I was here about her, so I should say her name. I cast my mind back to the last time I saw her. It was a sunny afternoon. The sun was bright, and it was warm, not oppressively so, but a sort of mid July heat makes you feel nostalgic. The chime of birds overhead, and the rush of the river was lulling.

"I saw her last weekend. She brought Mia and Joe, her two children."

"Tell me about them."

"Well, Mia is four, and has just lost her first tooth, so there's a gap in her smile, right here." I point at my middle two incisors, laughing as I remember my daughter's toothy grin beneath her cap. "And Joe is a baby, nineteen months old. He can babble, not quite talk yet, but he distinctly said "daddy" to me the last time I saw him. He still didn't know that I'm not his father."

A shared exhale floated across the room, and I watched it leave through the multi paned window. The building was clinical, but the room was homely. There were many pot plants, some pictures of Julie's family across the walls, and some quotes that I think were supposed to be inspirational.

"How did it make you feel, Leo? "

I exhaled again. "Well, the afternoon was nice. We spent it on a rooftop garden perched high above the bustling streets below. Her voice was like the tinkling of wind chimes and her eyes held the depths of an ocean. She has blue eyes, like the sea, like the clouds when it rains, like rivers. She is beautiful, Julie. Ethereal. And I love her so much, and those two children too."

"So why did you break up with her?"

"I didn't."

"She did?"

"Yes."

"Why? Did she love you back?"

"I thought she did. When I was with her, time seemed to stand still, the chaotic world below became insignificant as we danced beneath starlit skies. I felt myself drawn deeper into her orbit, captivated by the warmth of her smile and the gentle touch of her hand. We were together for eight years."

Julie raised her eyebrows. "Eight?"

"Yeah, since we did Titanic. But she found a new man in 2002, and Joe was born in 2003. I knew Sam. She invited him to our house and..." I shook my head, scrunching my eyes closed. "I don't want to think about what they did. "But Joe was born, and he looked a lot like him."

"So this... meeting with her. I take it that meant you weren't living together. When did she move out?"

"She made me move. Said she was settled with the kids." I rubbed my hands on my jeans. How the fuck could someone sweat this much?

"I made the excuse that it wasn't working anymore, and she agreed. He moved in a few days after I left. I asked her to meet me on the rooftop garden, to bring the kids. I wanted to see them again. I thought maybe I could convince her to give me another go. I couldn't let her go."

"What did you say to her?"

"It's going to sound weird to say."

"Tell me."

I puffed out the air from my cheeks. "I wrote her a letter. Every day. I asked her, in these exact words too, if I could hold you for one more hour, would you lie with me among the flowers."

"How did she take it?"

I shook my head, running my hand over the beard that had grown on my face. I was dishevelled... barely a man.

"She didn't. She read it and laughed at me. I cried. Alot. I told her that she'd broken me to pieces and set fire to the relationship we'd made."

"Do you think, maybe, you might have rushed into a relationship with her eight years ago?"

"Possibly." I glance at the ceiling. "I was very quick to put a ring on her hand. You know, I was this snotty infatuated 21... 22 year old and she was 21. Way too young to get married."

"But you did anyway. Would you say it was a good relationship until—"

"Sam."

"Until Sam came along?"

"I like to think so, Julie. I like to think so. It was like... paradise. This... this Garden of Eden. We danced every night, looked into each other's eyes with so much love I thought I might as well have exploded. She was like a star, and I was an astronomer who couldn't keep my eye off her. But as with all things, our paradise was not immune to reality. I was... am still... foolish. I became intoxicated by the allure of perfection, convinced that she was perfect in every way. Blinded by my own desires, I chased after shadows, leaving Kate behind without so much as a backward glance. She was probably right to cheat on me. I didn't love her. I loved the idea of her.  I didn't get to know her, just her face, just her eyes, her lips, her skin. I didn't get to know what was below the surface. The real Kate. I wish I did."

Julie smiled, her eyes drooping sympathetically as she handed me a box of tissues.

"Thanks." I dabbed my nose, and cleared my throat, feeling tears sting my eyes. "What do I do? Should I chase her and get her back?"

"No. If you love someone, set them free. If she loves you, she'll come back."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Then it ran its course. Move on."

"I don't know if I can."

"You can. I know you can. And you will."

"How can I if I see my daughter every weekend?"

"You'll find a way. I promise."

"What can I do now?"

"Write her today's letter."

"Now?"

She nodded, handing me a notebook and a pad of paper. "Go on."

"Alright." I balanced it on my knee.

Dear Kate,

We fell in love prematurely, too fast. We rushed into the relationship, because of the media. I was tempted by your beauty, and not you. It was surface level, immature, crushing. It wasn't love. You were right to leave me. I love you properly now, how I wished I had loved you for these past eight years. I find myself haunted by memories of our garden of Eden. Its beauty pales in comparison to the radiance of your soul, its tranquillity shattered by our love lost. The Garden of Eden took you away. I'll never forgive myself for it.

I'm sorry, yours always,

Leo.

"How's that?" I handed her the letter and she handed it back.

"Don't ask me. Ask Kate."

In the days that followed, I wandered aimlessly through the labyrinth of the city, haunted by the ghost of what could have been. Each street corner, each passing face served as a painful reminder of the love I had forsaken, the paradise I had lost. I had posted the letter to her house two days before, and I hoped that she'd read it. It's all I needed. But, that evening the letterbox thudded open and closed again, and a single piece of paper drifted to the floor. I stood up from the sofa and sauntered to the letterbox, reaching down. I slid down the side of the door and unfolded the paper. It was unmistakably Kate's handwriting.

"Leo.

I don't care how you felt then. I don't care how you feel now. I'm with Sam. I love Sam. You still see Mia. Please, please, for her sake move on. I don't need you any more, Leo. Your "garden of Eden" took me away from you and I'm happy. I don't want to eat any more of your fucking apples.

Yours never,

Kate."

Well. Fuck.