If She Gives You Her Heart Don't You Break It || Kate & Leo Oneshots

Cigarette

She brings the cigarette to her lips, breathes in the smoke, and breathes it back out again. She's wearing this cornflower blue shirt which is loose on her far too slim frame, and some white mid - thigh shorts. It's the scene in our film where our characters realise going to Paris is a childish idea, and her hair is all loose, her eyes are dark, her face is red, and hot tears have streaked down her face. She looks distraught: completely lost and alone. Not just April, Kate too; utterly devastated for her character. And there isn't much I can do to help her.

Sam announced that we were finished for today, and the cameramen turned off their cameras, and all the actors went back to their trailers to get changed into their normal clothes. Even Sam marched back to his and Kate's trailer, whistling as if he was in his own world, not once stopping to ask his wife if she was okay after she had poured her heart and soul into that performance, not once stopping to ask what time she was coming back to the trailer with him. He didn't care and as far as she knew, he'd been like that for a year or so since he had met Rebecca.

Kate knows he's cheating on her, and I think that's what is making this film in particular so hard for her, but she has been fighting to make it for years, and isn't going to give it up just because of some marital problems. It probably is, in a weird way, a good thing as her performance feels more... authentic, but I can't help but feel bad everytime Frank yells at April because she flinches every time my voice raises. She flinches everytime I move closer to her. She never used to.

"Kate?" I kneel down in front of her, smoothing back my sweaty hair and letting my taut face smoothen out so as to not scare her. She shakes her head silently, sniffles, and then stands up, her knees shaking so much I move an arm around her waist to steady her.

The cigarette is still balanced between her lips, smouldering in her face. Normally Kate is the brightest thing in any room, in any space, even brighter than the sun in the height of summer, but now her eyes are dark, and so is her soul, and for the first time ever, her cigarette shines brighter than her.

"I can't do this, Leo. Tomorrow is the big argument scene, and you're gonna throw a chair at me, a-and... oh god."

"Hey hey hey come here, I won't hurt you. I won't hurt you." I open my arms out and she stands in front of me, leaning her head into my neck.

"You can do this. It's going to be difficult, but you'll pull it off. You always do. And then after, if you like, we can go for a walk or go out for dinner, but I don't want you smoking anymore of those cigarettes, hm? They're really bad for you."

"I don't care."

"Well I do, and the kids do."

"I don't smoke around them."

"But they know, Kate. They're smarter than you think."

"Don't try and mansplain how smart my children are. I know they're fucking smart!"

I hold my hands up and rub her shoulder as soothingly as I know how to, and I soften my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, Kate."

"No you're right." She takes another really long drag of her cigarette, and moves over to the ashtray on the table to stub it out.

"Good girl."

"That was very patronising."

"Sorry."

She turns back around to face me, blowing the last of the smoke from her mouth and bridging the distance between us, shoving her hands into my coat pockets, and entangling our fingers, exhaling. I watch as her eyes flutter closed, and I bring my hand to the back of her head and gently pull her to the nape of my neck, rocking her gently from side to side.