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"Mi, why did you curse Tita Ian po kanina?" Cyren straightened up from her seat and gave me a confused look, her brow furrowing. "May nagawa po ba si Tita Ian na you didn't like?"

I tilted my head and heaved a sigh. "Wala naman, it doesn't mean anything-"

"Pero you're ignoring her po nung lumabas na tayo sa Ramen house..."

I looked away from her eyes and tried to compose myself. Nahagip naman ng mata ko ang repleksyon ko sa salamin.

I was wearing a long gray tube top and a long maong skirt, and my long, untidy hair added to my stressed-out appearance.

May kahabaan na ang buhok ko dahil halos isang taon na rin simula no'ng huli ko itong pagupitan na gupit ng panlalaki. I also allowed my hair grow out to shoulder length and went back to my original color.

Matagal naman nang nalagyan ng tuldok ang kontrata ko na magpanggap bilang lalaki. Thus, there's no justification for cutting my hair like a man's. I also miss having long hair. Mas kabisado ko kasi ang anggulo ko sa mahabang buhok kaysa sa panlalaki.

"Aren't you happy with your work po ba?"

Upon hearing Cyren's question to me once more, all my thoughts were swept away. Nilingon ko siya at mabilis ko namang nakita ang masidhing pagtataka sa kaniyang mukha.

"Hindi po ba MNB ang nilalaro ni Kuya pogi?"

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and shrugged. "Sinong kuya pogi?"

"Si... Xion po ba 'yon, Mi? The captain of the tvot group..." She pouted as he patted her lips as if she were thinking. "You two are close to each other 'di ba po? Nakita po kasi namin kayo ni Tita Ian sa live stream na nagbibiruan, eh."

Nanikip ang dibdib ko kasabay nang pag-bara ng lalamunan ko. I pressed my lips together and looked away from Cyren.

Sa halos sampung buwan, alam ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko na ulit pag-usapan ang tungkol kay Xion. Ano naman kasi ang punto nang pag-takas? Hindi naman ata nakakamatay na makita at mapagusapan siya?

I moved on.

Bahagyang gumuhit ang kirot sa aking dibdib kasabay nang pag-sikip ng aking lalamunan.

"Did I really?"

"By the way, Mi, ubos na po 'yong gamot ko,"

Tiningnan ko ang bote na inangat niya sa ere. Seeing the bottle empty, I can't help but feel weak. Sa totoo lang, kakabili ko lang ng bote ng gamot niya noong nakaraang linggo, at ngayon, ubos na naman.

"Nilalaklak mo ba gamot mo, bakit ang bilis maubos?" I joked.

"Maybe si Tita Ian po, Mi. Para po kasing overdose s'ya minsan."

I pinched her cheeks and laughed. Sinipat ko ang paligid ko at nang makita si Ian sa kusina ay muling bumaling kay Cyren. "Kung naririnig ni Ian sinasabi mo, baka nagsimangot na 'yon buong araw. Kaya h'wag mong ipaparinig ha, tamang backstab lang tayo rito."

Sabay kaming natawa. But as I realized that I still needed to buy the cyrene medication, my laughter gradually disappeared.

I really fucking need money right now.

Hindi na sapat ang pera na binibigay ng gobyerno sa'kin sa tuwing sasapit ang araw ng akinse sa kalendaryo. That's just right for Cyren's medicine and tuition at her school. Pero paano naman ang iba pa na bayarin?

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