Unveiling the vile behind

03

03

Love </3:
Where are you, Cassee?

Pang-ilang text na ni Astre sa akin. Pang-ilang text na hindi ko man lang makuhang sagutin. His text messages started with a good morning and with him saying how much he hates waking up without me by his side. Reading that text sent a massive pain in my chest and I was resigned to the feeling because no matter what I do, I know I won't be able to ease the pain.

When he realized that I have no intention of replying to his texts, he blew my phone with his calls. I tortured myself by listening to it continuously ring. I listened knowing it was him who's calling. I listened until I couldn't take it anymore and turned off my phone.

"Wala ka pang tulog, Cassee. Matulog ka muna kaya?" Bakas ang paga-alala sa tono ni Ian. 

I ignored him and kept brushing my hair while staring in my own reflection. Smooth, healthy, and bouncy. That's the description of my elbow-length hair. I have taken care of it since I was a child. Kaya sa tuwing iisipin ko pa na gugupitin ko ito, ramdam ko na kaagad ang sakit na bumabalot sa aking kalamnan. 

"Para naman akong nakikipag-usap sa hangin dito, Cassee," Dinig kong reklamo ni Ian. "Alam mo bang hindi ko sinipot yung lalaki ko para masamahan kita rito! Tapos hindi mo lang ako kakausapin."

Mabilis na lumipad ang tingin ko sa lalaki nang tumaas ang kaniyang boses. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "H'wag ka ngang maingay, magigising si Cyren."

"Ay, sorry naman hah. Ayaw mo kasi makipag-usap sa'kin,"

"Ano bang paguusapan?" Urat kong tanong sa lalaki habang inaayos ang kumot ni Cyren. 

We are currently in Cyren's room. Mahimbing na natutulog si Cyren. She's fine now, she just needs to rest. Kakapainom ko lang din ng gamot sa kaniya, and thankfully, she listened to me when I said that her mother didn't want her to cry.

"Seryoso ka ba talaga?" Paulit ulit na tanong sa akin ni Ian. Daig niya pa ang sirang plaka dahil minu-minuto niyang inuulit ang tanong na 'yan. As if I would change my mind and wake up to the truth if he repeated that question.

Inirapan ko ang lalaki. "I'm going to the salon. Sasamahan mo ba ako?"

"Puta, parang may choice ako 'no?" 

I smiled at him. 

I had plan out how I'm going to make this work. How I'm going to do this. I had no other choice. Kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan ay eto at eto ang sagot na lumalabas. My decision's firm now. I'm this sure.

I can do this. For Cyren's operation.

Ganoon ang nangyari. Sinamahan ako ni Ian sa pagpunta sa Salon upang magpa-gupit. Ang OA nga ng reaction niya habang unti-unting tinatapyas ang mahaba kong buhok. He seems to be in more pain than me.

"Bakla ako, Cassee, alam mo 'yan. Tapos... ang pogi mo! Tangina, pagkakasyahin." Biro sa akin ni Ian, cherishing my manly hair with his round eyes. 

I gave him the middle finger and stood up to examine myself in the mirror. Panghihinayang at pagsisisi ang dumaloy sa aking kalamnan nang makita ang bagong gupit na buhok. Bagay naman ito sa akin⁠–I look just like my twin Cid.