Unveiling the vile behind

40

40

Fall is here, as evidenced by the brown leaves dropping.

Halos matutop ako nang maramdaman ko ang kamay ni Xion sa tuktok ng ulo ko. He took the leaf off gently and turned back to face me.

"Nung nalaman kong babae ka, I knew I was down bad."

A wave of tears had blurred my vision. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, pero hindi na sa masakit na paraan. His words made my chest swell up, and I felt a surge of relief rush over my worries.

Maraming tanong ang sumuong sa isip ko.

"Galit ka nga sa'kin no'n,"

I still remember how he looked at me with dark eyes. Kung paano niya ako kinanuno at pag-tabuyan gamit ang mga nakakatusok niyang salita. But I clearly recall how his dark eyes would get warmer and warmer every time he gazed at me.

"Nag-gagalit galitan ako para mapansin mo,"

"Huh?"

"Pinapansin mo lang kasi ako no'n kapag alam mong galit ako sa 'yo," Ngumuso siya. "Kapag pinansin mo ako, okay na ako-solve na 'yong araw ko. Even though, in your eyes, I was your enemy."

Nilunok ko ang bara sa lalamunan, hinahayaan lang siyang mag-salita.

"Sana aware ka na pinagselosan ko 'yong buong team ko nung napagtanto kong malapit ka sa kanila, pero hindi sa'kin." A tear touched his cheek. Nahihiya niya itong pinunasan agad.

I didn't know that Xion had feelings for me. Ang tanging alam ko lang, galit siya sa'kin.

"I tried to detest you as soon as I heard that you were in a relationship with Astre. Ilang beses pa kitang itinaboy no'n... pero hindi ko pala talaga kaya... " His voice broke. "Ako lang din kasi 'yong bumabalik sa 'yo."

Listening to him, I realized that nobody has ever made me feel this way before - visible and valued.

"G-Gustong..." Bumuga ako ng hangin. "Gustong-gusto rin kita, Xion."

With him, I could fully be myself, where my soul felt at peace, where I was not only accepted but celebrated.

Napagtanto kong hindi ko kailangan magpanggap para matanggap. Hindi ko kailangan magmakaawa para pahalagahan. He valued me and accepted me without me begging or pretending.

I didn't just feel secure and at home; I felt whole, complete, and utterly cherished.

Leaves fall with me quite smoothly.

I have no idea what kind of relationship I have with Xion. Maybe just a platonic relationship?

Hindi ko naman minamadali. I want us to take our time. Pero kung ako ang tatanungin, wala akong paki kahit gaano pa katagal 'yan... but I wish it would last forever.

"Akla, nakita mo ba 'yong volleyball player kagabi sa parking lot?"

Huminto ako sa ginagawang pagsusuklay sa buhok upang ibaling ang buong atensyon kay Ian. He was sitting on the edge of the bed while wearing his socks. May malawak na ngiti ang nakapaskil sa kaniyang bibig.

"Anong mayroon do'n? Type mo?"

Ngingitingiti siyang tumango habang mariin na kinakagat ang labi para mapigilan ang pagtakas ng ngiti niya. Napairap naman ako at napabalik sa harapan ng salamin.

"Ang pogi kaya niya! Ang yummy ampotik! Halatang hindi tinatablan ng school air no'ng student era!"

He's been a friend for two decades, yet he's still hopelessly romantic.