Bonus Chapter

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He could see them; he was only a few feet away now. He'd gotten the call not even ten minutes ago, Mamoru informing him of the situation. Some sick motherfucker was dangling a poor little girl off a building downtown. Despite being fresh from his debut, they'd called him in specifically, thinking his speed and ability to be in the air would be the safest way to approach the situation.

Police said it was originally a custody dispute that had escalated, but the fact he'd be willing to hurt his own daughter over it was sickening. He couldn't imagine what would drive a father to do something like that, though he should know better than anyone about abusive parents. But never in his life would he think of hurting his own kid when he finally had one; he wouldn't even dream of it.

It seemed fairly simple: get close enough to send a few feathers to grab the girl while he focused on taking down the dad. He'd been trained on situations like this dozens of times; it wasn't hard. That girl would be back in her mother's arms within the next five minutes easily.

He spread his wings, ready to execute the proper rescue and takedown protocols, but he'd made a mistake. The dad had seen him coming long before he'd realized, and just as Hawks spread his wings, he flung the poor little girl over the edge without a single thought. The action caused Hawks to freeze for just a second, his brain unable to process the gravity of what had just happened.

But that single moment of hesitation cost him.

She let out a gut-wrenching shriek, and he plummeted downwards after her, tucking in wings to try and gain enough speed.

"Faster, faster, please," he begged himself, God, anyone or anything that might be listening and might be able to help, but it was too late. She hit the pavement with a sickening–

His eyes flew open at the thunder crack echoing through the room, his feathers vibrating with the last of the sound. He was panting, his sheets and clothes soaked with sweat as he let out a pathetic groan. He turned, just managing to throw his head over the side of the bed as he finally vomited. His eyes watered, nose and throat burning as the rain pounded against his bedroom window. How many times was he going to have the same nightmare?

Could he even really call it a nightmare if it was actually a memory?

That thought sent his stomach lurching again, forcing him to move out of bed as he retched. He threw open the bathroom door, scrambling for the toilet as he vomited again, unable to stop the sickening twist of his stomach and the horrible ache in his chest. The nightmares were getting worse, more frequent, but he supposed it was only fair given everything.

It had been an entire year since then. He truly deserved to suffer for it. After all, it was all his fault she wasn't here anymore. A mother had grieved her child for an entire year because he'd hesitated for just a second too long.

He gagged again, his nose running as he heaved. He'd replayed that situation over and over again in his head, dreaming of the things he would do differently. He should've approached from the back instead of a head-on assault. Should have sent feathers after her instead of diving himself. If he hadn't been so stupid, maybe just maybe, that girl would be turning seven this year instead of rotting in the ground.

He pushed himself away from the toilet with a grunt, there was nothing left in his stomach to vomit even if he wanted to. Brushing his hair from his face, he took a deep breath, his breathing finally starting to steady out. It was a good thing he had the sense to cash in his personal day for today. There was no way he could go to work in this state of mind; otherwise, it would cost people their lives, and that was the last thing he needed on his conscience.

Nobody said anything about the date he'd picked to use the one precious personal day. No one batted an eye, didn't ask if there was a specific reason why he was requesting the date off almost a year in advance. Nobody knew or, more than likely, nobody really cared.

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