Feather Bound

Chapter 11

His heart pounded as he rushed through his agency, disregarding Haruki's cries behind him, until he reached his office and slammed the door shut. Crouching down, he curled himself into a ball, tucking his knees tightly against his chest and wrapping his wings around his body in a desperate attempt to soothe himself. His hands wove their way into his hair, tugging at the strands roughly, hoping the pain would help ground him.

He took deep, shuddering breaths, his face still painfully warm and flushed. Overwhelmed, overstimulated, and beyond embarrassed, he wondered what had just happened. It wasn't as if he were a stranger to having his wings touched. The Commission had forced him through desensitization training, specifically for the purpose of allowing the public to touch them. Kids grabbed at them constantly, and he willingly allowed fans to do so at meet and greets without his body reacting in such a way before. What had she done to him?

For her to see his reaction and tell him it was normal, that he shouldn't be embarrassed, well, that was just the icing on the cake. Of course he was embarrassed; any guy would be. She'd barely touched him, and he let out a literal fucking moan, popping a boner as if he were still a teenager. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry at the entire situation, but he knew that if the floor opened up and swallowed him whole right this second, he'd have no complaints.

It took a few more minutes of deep breathing, but eventually, his body relaxed, his wings gently releasing him and folding neatly against his back. It had been a long time since he'd experienced sensory overload like that, not since he was just nine years old, right before he started his desensitization training. Too much had happened all at once; the combination of touch and vibrations through his feathers had sent him into a state of near panic. By the time his trainers had found him, he had curled himself under his bed, his wings wrapped around him so tightly as he tried to comfort himself. It was that incident that had led them to start his training as soon as possible so he could become the perfect hero they wanted him to be.

He stood, brushing himself off and letting out one more deep breath. He walked towards his desk, sinking into his chair and reaching for the mouse on his computer. Ignoring his trembling hands, he shook the monitor awake, frowning as he read the latest email.

Hawks,

I am exceedingly pleased with how well this match has been progressing, so I've taken the liberty of planning your next three dates for you. I hope this helps alleviate some of the stress you've been experiencing in the program. Ms. L/N reached out to me a little while ago and mentioned that today went well, and she hoped you were feeling alright. She also conveyed her apologies if anything she did upset you. I didn't press for details, but I hope all is well. If you feel like you're coming down with an illness, please don't hesitate to consult with the Commission doctor. The last thing we need is to arrange a sick day for you. I've attached the itinerary for all three dates. I'm glad to see that you've finally found someone you like.

-Vice President Jiro

Hawks clenched his jaw as he re-read the email. Y/N had contacted the Vice President to offer an apology. Fortunately, it didn't seem like she had divulged any details about what had transpired. He was thankful for that, the last thing he needed was the President and Vice President questioning him over his body's response to her touch.

So she was still in it, huh? He should have known that today's events wouldn't change her perspective on the program, but he had observed a subtle shift in her attitude towards him. She seemed uncertain, and he knew he had planted a small seed of doubt in her mind that was already beginning to grow.

After everything she had shared with him today about her reasons for joining the program, it made sense as to why that doubt had taken hold so rapidly. He had been rude, abrasive, and at times downright mean to her. Based on what she had confided about her ex-boyfriend, it wasn't the first time she'd encountered such behavior from a man. It troubled him to think that he might have been unintentionally triggering her, evoking bad memories and painful experiences she likely wanted to forget. However, he reminded himself that he was only doing his job as a hero, protecting her, even if she didn't fully grasp it yet. Once she quit the program, he could make it up to her somehow, but until then, this was what he had to do.