💜 SMG3's Gay Thoughts 💜

💀💜Gay thought #113💜💀

Dear Diary,

It's a thunderstorm night at the Showgrounds, the crews choose to watch TV and sing along. There was me, SMG4, Mario, Meggy, Tari, Bob and Luigi. We're having a good time as a gang, moving our bodies to the beat of the music and enjoying ourselves when suddenly, the electricity shuts down. All we can hear is the TV static in front of us and thunder booming. We screamed like panicked little girls but I didn't notice everyone stop except me. They're all staring at me as I cough on my hand, look away from them and find a good excuse to believe me.

"I mean uhhhh..."

I make a "manly" scream and everyone deadpans at me. Fair enough but I don't scream like a girl at all! Tari's arm is breaking down and turns off as well. We all face the TV again and Mario speaks up.

"Well, at least the TV still works..."

As soon as he said that, the thundercloud "opened" the window and killed the TV. Mario freaked out, changed into his doctor suit and did CPR on it. How does this idiot have a doctorate degree in the first place? Now my avatar needs a sacrifice and I'm just so unamused about this as I watch Mario grab Luigi's head and I place my hand on my cheek. Man, this is so boring...Well bye Luigi...it was not nice knowing you...

Meggy suggests to us that someone needs to go to the basement with her to fix the generator. Me and Bob look at each other with my raised brow, we back away slowly and both pointing at Tari while saying in sync.

"Tari goes."

Welp that didn't work because Meggy wanted fate to decide...by playing Monopoly FedEx edition! Whoever wins the game, gets to choose who'll be with her in the basement. Ahem 1 game of Monopoly FedEx edition later, I'm wearing my cool shade, feeling lucky that it wasn't me and gold Monopoly money is by my side. Glad that's over, seeing Meggy dragging a traumatic Tari was fun to watch as I'm waving at them happily and giggling with a grin. Bob talks to me with an excited tone.

"Three, my main man! I've cooked up a surefire money making scheme. Lightning in a bottle, you could say..."

Oh? I am very interested by his words as I wrap an arm around his side and gives a sly smile.

"Do tell my homeless, money making friend."

"These suckers want electricity, we can get it! Supply and demand, my friend. Follow me..."

While we're having the conversation, we exit the castle while it's pouring rain outside and the door closes behind us. I'm holding a jar, lifting my arm out and waiting for lightning to strike anytime to hit the bottle. Raindrops hit my face and my clothes while Bob was staring into the sky.

"Dude...when you said this scheme was 'lightning in a bottle' I didn't think you meant it literally! This is stupid!"

I feel like a complete idiot that this is his idea of a money scheme! I feel a hand on my shoulder- Wait, hand? I swore Bob doesn't have a hand- I'm facing him with a confused look on my face when Bob is trying to be like Obiwan from Star Wars.

"What!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?!"

I'm still not convinced about this situation when I'm pointing at him until he says this.

"Good things come to those who wait..."

I...This sucks, raising the bottle in the air again with an unpleasant look. This is so ridiculous...After a few minutes later, I feel scared that what if the lightning is gonna strike on me and not in the bottle? My body is trembling when I'm thinking about it plus the coldness of the rain dripped into my clothes until I gave up and stared at Bob.

"That's it, I'm heading inside before I get a trench foot!"

I walk my way to the castle front door, Bob goes in front of me and asks me if I hate money like what?

"What kind of question is that? Of course I love money."

Bob is dressing like a wizard all of sudden, this is getting stupider every time... Here goes his "knowledge" speech again...I guess I have no chance to become water to accomplish the money scheme by dressing like a bottle of water while T-posing. I look down at my costume and groan. This reminds me of when SMG4 had a Dasani water bottle as his waifu pillow. Hmmmm...I don't know if I should keep this stupid costume for another time with bb. He might laugh at me if I wear it again. Or...the way around, he might hug me, telling me that I'm so cute and want to squeeze me. Heh, I should do a lot of thinking...

I took off the costume, sat down in the dirt with Bob, raised my arm less this time, feeling all wet and gross and looked pissed off. I can't do this anymore...

"THAT'S IT!! I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!"

I stand up, break my bottle into pieces and yell at Bob.

"YOU AND YOUR PLAN BOTH SUCK. EQUALLY!"

I start to walk away from him while yelling more.

"ENJOY GETTING RICH YOU LITTLE-"

Lighting strikes right into Bob's bottle, he closes the lid and looks happy that he did it. I was dumbfounded. He...did it. Without hesitation, I launch myself at him and try to snatch the bottle as we're playing tug of war.

"GIMMIE THAT LIGHTNING!"

"HELL NO! I CAUGHT IT SQUARE AND FAIR YOU GREEDY PIG!"

"I'M NOT A GREEDY PIG! NOW GIVE ME THAT LIGHTNING SO I CAN SCAM PEOPLE!"

My face changes when I hear my bb dashes out from the castle door with a panic voice and runs away.

"GUYS!! MARIO'S GONE COO COO CRAZY! HE WANTS ELECTRICITY!"

SMG4 screams of horror as we both watch him running away and- Wait a minute, did he say Mario wants electricity? Oh hohoho I have an idea! All I can think about is...MONEY! Our eyes are a golden dollar shaped sign with a big smile. Get ready to scam Mario! Me and Bob are fighting over who's better at advertising Mario with the lightning bottle.

"With SMG3's Lightning in a Bottle... you can power anything your Italian heart desires! Your TV, your phone, your drone, your Tony, bologna rigatoni!"

Oi! He slapped me! We're fighting over the bottle again and we both say it at the same time while holding up the bottle right on Mario's face.

"WHADDAYA SAY?"

Mario's eyes are bloodshot red, standing there menacingly and does the Foxy jumpscare at us. We scream and run away from Mario to join my love which hopefully we can find him! Oh there he is, it was easy to spot my bb. We rush back to the castle, burst through the storage room door and SMG4 shout.

"WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!"

We join the girls until Mario is going insane and pushes us down into the hatchet while screaming like a girl again. Oh fuck...that's twice now. I cough nervously.

"I mean..."

I let out a "manly" scream once more in the darkness when the lightning in the bottle lights up our surroundings. It's so creepy and spooky down here...Why does SMG4 have a basement? Of course for the generator but what else? We followed him, finally found the generator and the power was back on! We celebrate it together, making cheerful noises until we hear a beeping sound. Our party is over, our heads turn over and we see the same TV from upstairs... We walk closer to the TV screen with shocked expressions and read Please stand by with a name Puzzlevision. Oh don't tell me...a new lore has been unlocked! I just finished my story lore so what gives!? We know who it is...It's them....Back for revenge on us....

~SMG3