Fame Over You || Yeonbin

Chapter 18

Hello.
This is Hybe Entertainment.

We would like to provide you with an update regarding the current health status of TOMORROW BY TOGETHER member CHOI SOOBIN and his upcoming schedules.

CHOI SOOBIN has been in the process of recovering from an illness that we will not be disclosing. He has been advised from his doctors to take a period of rest. He will be on hiatus until further notice.

Thank you.

•••

The announcement of Soobin's hiatus had been published three days ago. Soobin had left the dorm five days ago. None of the members knew where he went. None of them reached out to him either. None of them felt the need to. He had said everything he had needed to.

They all knew that Soobin wasn't recovering from an illness. That's why Hybe had chose to not 'disclose' the details. It's because there was not sickness to begin with. That's what made them a little frustrated. Soobin didn't have a good enough reason to go on hiatus. At least he didn't have a good enough reason according to the members.

All the members had been struggling silencing but painfully since their leader left too. First of all, they didn't have a leader anymore. No one to guide them through their schedules and to keep pushing them when they all felt the urge to go home and quit. Yeonjun tried to step in and keep them motivated and it worked but it wasn't the same. They all knew it wasn't.

•••

"I hate you Kai for being so oblivious to the point where you think everything is sunshine and rainbows and then get mad when others don't see the fucking world that way."

Huening Kai had always tried to be positive. That was his focus. To be happy. To be everyone's source of joy and to be the reason his members laugh on a bad day. To him, being told that someone hates how he views the world hurt more than he thought it would. And maybe it's because those words were said by someone he tried to share his happiness with.

Soobin had been the first person he had made friends with at Bighit. He was the first person he felt he could truly be himself around. The first person who didn't make him feel like he wasn't normal. But now, that same person who made him feel normal, made him feel like a freak within seconds.

He felt sorry. He felt like a failure for making Soobin think he was mad at him because Soobin was struggling. He should've tried harder. He was supposed to be the happy friend. He had failed at the one thing he was good at because Soobin was right. He did get mad when other people don't see the world the same way.

•••

"I hate you Taehyun for constantly trying to fix everything but all you ever actually do is break everything you ever touch."

Taehyun had always tried to fix things. Fix toys, fix people's grammar, and fix people. He didn't know that his need to constantly fix things would end of being his downfall.

Taehyun always thought of himself as intelligent. That's why he thought he was right. He thought his opinions and his thoughts were superior in a way. He never said those things out loud. But he knew others knew that he thought highly of himself and his abilities. That's why he felt the need to fix things. He thought that since he doesn't need anymore fixing himself, he could just fix others. It was simple to him. The simple thought of, "I can fix them" or "I can help them" always had him fixing things that could've been fixed naturally. But Taehyun was too desperate to think about that.

That's why he decided to try and fix his two oldest hyungs friendship. He didn't know about Yeonjun and their Manager. He didn't know. But his plan to fix everything failed. And now his brain was filled with negative thoughts about himself for the first time in years. Maybe if he hadn't felt the need to fix everything...he could finally fix himself. Maybe... he could stop breaking everything he touched.

•••

"I hate you Beomgyu for pretending to comfort me when in reality you were just standing aside and letting me be hurt over and over and over again."

Beomgyu thought he was doing the right thing. When Yeonjun had come up to him to open up about their abusive manager he was only a teenager. Only 17 years old. He felt the need to protect his hyung. At first he suggested that they tell Hitman Bang, their boss. Yeonjun declined the suggestion right away because he was scared. And Beomgyu didn't blame him. After all, Yeonjun was still a teenager too. A 19 year old who had just achieved his dream and too afraid to do anything that might take that away from him. So the two boys made sure to do everything they could to keep Yeonjun safe and to keep the group together.

Looking back on it, Beomgyu regrets every bit of it. He regrets calling Soobin a shit leader moments before he left the dorms five day ago. He regrets not telling their boss about their manager. He regrets holding Soobin in his arms while he cried late at night in confusion because he didn't understand why the oldest 'hated' him so much. He regrets letting Yeonjun harrass Soobin because he was afraid of getting beat up and abused for loving the leader. He was ashamed that Soobin was right. He did let Soobin get hurt just to help him get back up.

•••

"I hate you Yeonjun for destroying me from the outside in."

Yeonjun had always felt a weight on his chest just by being the oldest member. He felt as though he was supposed to be an anchor for the younger men. He was supposed to carry their burdens that they couldn't carry themselves. Almost be their unassigned group therapist. More recently though, the weight on his chest became heavier, more suffocating. He didn't know how Soobin was able to fill the roll of being the leader when he himself could barely fit into a quarter of the roll. He felt himself slipping away from what he had been and felt himself slowly but surely losing himself in his self loathing the more he thought about how it was his fault. It was his fault that Soobin started feeling unhappy with himself and with the group. He felt sick because he knew he loved Soobin. Felt sick because Soobin had every right to not love him back. Because he had single handily destroyed Soobin from the outside in.

•••

Chapter 18 is done!

I'm about to cry because this book is coming to an end soon. I hope you all have enjoyed this book and will tune in for the last few remaining chaptersss. :)

One dream! ~ Kai 🫶🏼

3/27/24