Slow burning love

Morning Confessions

Lucifer blinked his eyes awake. He looked around the room as his head pounded. He was not in his room. He felt the warmth of another on his face. He looked up to see Alastor. Alastor's eyes closed, head resting on his. Lucifer smiled as he realized he was cuddling and enjoying it. Lucifer gave Alastor a little squeeze and went back to resting his head as a a sigh came out.
"Why did you just squeeze me?" Alastor asked with sleep and static in his voice.
"I'll raise you a question. I thought you didn't sleep," Lucifer stated.
"I never have before now," Alastor stated.
"Glad I was your first," Lucifer joked.
"Fuck you," Alastor stated.
"Hey, be nice," Lucifer teased.
"Nice,never," Alastor stated. He grabbed Lucifer's face and pulled him up into a kiss. As soon as their lips touched, Lucifer pulled back.
"I'm still mad at you," Lucifer said putting his arms on his knees in a sitting position.
Alastor sat up.
"Like always," Alastor went to lean in for another kiss.
"No!" Lucifer yelled.
Alastor backed up and swing his legs off the bed and gripped the edge of the bed, sitting on the side of the bed. The silence echoed through the room. Alastor brought his hands to his head and started to run his hands through his hair. Resisting the urge to pull out his hair.
"I don't understand," Alastor stated.
Lucifer looked at him.
"We need to talk in order to move forward," Lucifer stated.
Alastor started to pull his hair but let go before he yanked it out and repeated the process. Lucifer has never seen him like this before. Is this how he dealt with stress, Lucifer thought.
"What would you like to talk about?" Alastor asked with heavy breathing in between each word, his static voice sounded harsh.
"First, you invaded my privacy," Lucifer said.
"I what?" Alastor said.
"You spied on me. You watched me when I..."Lucifer didn't want to finish that sentence.
"When you fondled yourself thinking of me," Alastor completed his thought as he slowly stopped pulling his hair and went back to running it through his fingers.
"Yes that," Lucifer said with his face as red as the wine he had last night.
"Hmm that's why you're mad?" Alastor asked as his ears folded back.
"What?! Yes that's why I'm mad!"Lucifer screamed. "Look at me we are talking about this!"
Alastor swing around and he was looking Lucifer in the eyes. Ears still back but his hands were now on his knees.
"I am confused on why you are mad." Alastor stated.
" I am mad because you watched me without my permission. You broke into my room or your shadow did or you planted some doll in there. I don't know. All I know is you watched me without my knowledge," Lucifer said looking Alastor in the eye.
"I am still confused," Alastor stated. "I thought you wanted me. That's what you said."
"I said that when I was alone. When you shouldn't have been able to hear or see me," Lucifer was getting frustrated. How could Alastor not be getting this or was he too focused on himself.
"I shouldn't know you want me," Alastor repeated.
"No, you shouldn't know not by spying on me," Lucifer said.
"Then how would I know?" Alastor asked.
"You ask or you try to get to know me or any other normal method," Lucifer said moving his hands around in the air.
"But that means..." Alastor stopped talking putting his head in his hands.
"That means what?" Lucifer asked.
"I would have to be vulnerable. I can't do that. I can't not love you the way you want. I mean I can but I can't," Alastor whispered.
"Being vulnerable is part of a relationship. Or at least that's how it's suppose to be," Lucifer said.
"I can't be hurt. What if you don't like me?What if you don't like what I like? What if I disappoint you?" Alastor rambled with his hands still covering his face.
Lucifer reached out and touched his wrist slowly removing them from his face and meeting his gaze.
"One, you already disappointed me by spying on me. Two, I know connections are hard for you. Three, I have waited a lifetime for love and I can wait again," Lucifer said.
Lucifer watched as a single tear fell down Alastor's cheek. Lucifer leaned in for a soft kiss with Alastor.
Lucifer pulled back and said "One step at a time my dear."