Two Different Roads

Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover

Time marched on. May, 1967-Mike finally bowed to the inevitable and allowed reporters to satisfy their curiosity about his wife. Starting with Ann Moses, Ellen was interviewed and photographed extensively, both with her husband and without. The press and the fans all loved her, her beauty, itelligence, sophistication. Much to her chagrin, she became a minor celebrity in her own right.

Even John commented at one point on the pictures he'd seen of her in a magazine which had showcased her and Mike's lavish home and their life together. Well, at least with his wife so publicly visible, perhaps, Ellen hoped, that would at least deter some women from pursuing her husband.
NOTHING would put off a particular breed of fan though. She learned this in a rather dramatic way one afternoon after visiting Mike on set as they drove home for some much-needed privacy.
They were stopped at a traffic light when without warning Ellen heard a loud thump and looked up to find a young woman actually clinging to the hood of the car.
"What the bloody hell! Michael...!"
"Don't look at me Honey. I certainly didn't encourage that."
"But you don't really even HAVE to, do you?"
"They said if I became famous that chicks would throw themselves at me, but I didn't know they would LITERALLY throw themselves at me."

"How do you suggest we handle this?"
"Beats me. They don't exactly offer classes for celebrities on how to deal with crazed fans, do they."
"Maybe she'll just give up and get off."
"She'll have to when this light changes, and I drive away."
"Michael!"
"Well it's not like I can get out and try to reason with her. Throwing herself on my car is one thing, but I don't want her throwing herself on ME. She's liable to yank out some of my hair or my teeth to take home as a keepsake."
"If she's smart she'd go straight for the good stuff instead."
"That is so NOT funny Woman, but it's a distinct possibility, so seein' as how you're awfully partial to my dick yourself, maybe YOU should try and talk her down."
"Me!?"
"Yeah use that charm you Brits are known for."
"The things I do for love," she grumbled and exited the car warily.
"Excuse me Miss. My husband and I were just on our way home. Would you mind terribly moving so that we can go?" (Lame, but what do you say in situations like this? Maybe the tried and true British politeness would actually work.)
The girl looked up. "Oh my god, you're her! You're Mike's wife! You're so lucky!"
"You can get back to me on that one. For now why don't we focus on the more urgent matter at hand. Michael and I would really like to go home and be with our son."

"Oh right, of course. I'm sorry, it's just that Mike is my favorite."
"Mine too."
The girl actually giggled, removing herself from the car at last.
"What's your name, Dear?"
"Maureen."
"That's very pretty. I'm Ellen," she said offering her hand.
"Oh I know. I've read every article about you. You're just as nice as I thought you'd be. I can't wait to tell everyone I met you. It must be the grooviest thing to be married to Mike."
"It certainly has its moments."
"I bet THIS isn't one of them. Again, I'm sorry. I just got carried away I guess. I'll leave now. I'm causing a traffic jam."
She glanced behind her as she went. Mike gave her a charitable wave and a smile. She beamed with happiness at the acknowledgement.
Her last comment was to Ellen before she crossed the street. "Thanks for treating me like an actual person, and you're even prettier than your pictures."

II
It seemed to be a week for drama. Only a few days later Mike came down with a severe sore throat coupled with a high fever that eventually became so concerning that he relaxed his Christian Science principles enough to allow Ellen to convince him to see a doctor. The diagnosis was acute tonsillitis, the recommendation a complete tonsillectomy. He complied with the physician's orders but went home as soon as he could to be cared for by his wife instead.

He missed filming an episode of the show, but predictably it didn't slow him down in the bedroom. Ellen had to continually caution him not to overexert himself (particularly vocally) during sex. It was a rather long week or two.
Finally by the first week of June he was well enough to attend the Emmy's where "The Monkees" won two awards and to perform with the group at their concert at The Hollywood Bowl. But just as things got back to normal in Monkeeland, Ellen began to feel pretty ill herself. She was violently sick every day, and so tired that she didnt even want to get out of bed. She kept it from Mike as well as she could until, at last, a trip to the doctor herself confirmed what she'd already suspected. She'd been scrupulously diligent about taking her birth control pills ever since her miscarriage, but nevertheless, somehow or other, she was pregnant.