Two Different Roads

'Til I Kissed Ya

The next few days went by slowly in a shroud of dread. Every twenty-four hours that passed without her period arriving only confirmed the worst as did her nearly continuous nausea. Ellen KNEW she was pregnant, and it terrified her.
John did all he could to reassure her, but it didn't help much. She wasn't ready to be a mother. She wasn't even sure she was prepared to be John's wife. And how would it be arranged anyway? He'd have to divorce Cynthia first somehow without causing a tremendous scandal that would ruin both himself and the band.
She lay awake nearly every night while John slept beside her, indulging in the tears she never allowed to fall during the day. It wasn't surprising she'd be caught eventually. His voice in the darkness. "I know you aren't asleep. And you're crying. Come here."

She dutifully turned over, nestled into his comforting arms.
"I've ruined everything johnny," she finally choked.
"Seems to me that it takes two to make a baby, and it hasn't ruined ANYTHING. I love you, and we'll work this out. When we get back home we'll get a doctor to examine you, see how far along you are, and you'll have all the care you need."
"By the time you start to show, you'll be on leave, safe in London with Vicky. I'll divorce Cyn, and after the baby's born we can be together. It'll be great."
She only wished she was as certain as he was.
II

August 24th-They were in California again, staying in another millionaire's house, this time in Beverly Hills where they would remain for the next six days except for a brief side trip for a concert in Seattle, Washington on the twenty-fifth.
Brian suggested that Ellen remain behind to get some much-needed rest. She decided to use a portion of the time to catch up with a friend.

"Peter, it's Ellen."
"Well hello there Stranger. It's been a month or so since I've heard from you."
"I've been traveling on business. That's actually what I'm calling about. I'm here in California, and I'd like to see you."
"Really? You sure you wouldn't rather see somebody else?"
"He wouldn't want to see ME...especially now."
"You're with someone. Yeah, I know."
"How...?"
"Nez called you a while ago, and he answered the phone."
She thought back. So THAT was who had rang that night. For a moment she wondered how different things might have turned out had she spoken to him. Would they have worked things out? Would she have left John and spared them both this disaster?
"Ellen you still there?"
"I'm here Peter."
"Sorry I brought up you know who."
"It's all right."
"You still want to see me?"
"Of course. Dinner somewhere?"
"How about dinner at my place? I'll cook. It would be quieter, more private."
"You talked me into it. Give me directions and I'm there. How's tomorrow about 6:00?"
III

"You look great El. You're too thin though. ("Morning sickness will do that," she thought but didn't say.) Well you're going to eat well TONIGHT."
"Something certainly does smell good."
"Right this way."
She hadn't thrown up in hours but she nearly lost everything she'd managed to consume that day when she stepped into Peter's living room and saw who else he'd invited over. God he looked good! That lean body in tight jeans, his great hair, parted perfectly, shining as always, and those beautiful dark eyes which now widened in shock, his expressive face twisting in disapproval.
"Hell nah! Peter give me one reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right now!" He turned to Ellen. "Did you know about this?"
"I definitely did not."
"You wanna HELP me kick his ass?"
She laughed despite the horror of the situation.
"Seriously Pete, what were you thinking?"
"You two need to talk, even if it's just to get some kind of closure. You're both too stubborn to do it yourselves, so when Ellen said she was here and wanted to see me, I set this up."
"Well, it didn't work. I'm leaving."
"Michael..." He froze. Apparently the sound of his name in her voice still had an effect on him. "I don't like it either, especially how he did it, but he's probably right. We SHOULD talk."
"I'm not sure I'd want to hear anything you'd have to say."
"Michael please."
"Why do you have to do that?"
"What?"
"You KNOW what! You know EXACTLY what it always did to me to hear you say my name like that. You're not playing fair."
"Does that mean you'll stay? Come on. I cooked all this food. Let's eat, and if you haven't killed each other by the time we're done, I'll go to bed and you two can talk."

IV
"I didn't know Peter could be such a sneaky little shit," Mike complained once they'd finished dinner and he was alone with Ellen.
"Well his heart was in the right place."
"His heart is bigger than his head."
She smiled, "Maybe."
"So he wanted us to talk; let's talk."
"I don't really know what to say."
"Neither do I. Wanna just claim we tried and give up?"
"No. I feel as if one of us should say SOMETHING."
He thought for a moment. She could see the anger in his face as he said, "How about this? Did I mean anything to you at all?"
"Of course you did!"
"Why did you leave me then?
"I didn't intend to...not permanently."
"You got caught up in your old life just the way I said you would."
"Well it was YOU who stopped taking my calls."
"I didn't see any point in trying anymore."
"You shouldn't have given up on us."
"Why? Would it have made a difference?"
It might have made ALL the difference. She might have stayed with him. And if she had this nightmare wouldn't be happening now. Tears stung her eyes at the thought of the mess her life had become. Despite John's assurances, she wasn't optimistic at all about their future. If his career, everything he'd worked for was destroyed because of what they'd allowed to happen...
Mike was suddenly beside her. "Are you ok?"
"No, I'm not, not at all."
He sighed in resignation. "Want to tell me about it?"
All at once she did. She'd felt safe with him from the beginning. She'd shared many personal things that very first night, some she'd only ever revealed to John and her sister. It would be such a relief to unburden herself now. Soon, between frequent tears, except for the last detail of her very famous lover's identity, the entire sordid story came out.
"I should probably just leave him so I won't ruin his life, but he keeps saying that everything will be fine, that he's going to marry me."
"Is that what YOU want though?"
"I don't know. I can't really think of anything other than what it would do to HIM."
"Well if he's willing to risk everything for you like that, the least you can say is that he must really love you."
"But for how long? Once it all comes apart he'll grow to resent me."
"You don't know that."
"I DO. I wish this hadn't happened. I wish..."
"Don't say it. Don't even THINK it. You're having a baby. That's an amazing thing. I know."
"You know?"
He hesitated, finally confessed, "I was married once, very briefly when I was younger...too young. Her name was Phyllis. It didn't work out, but we had a son, Christian. He's over a year old now. She went back to Texas, so I've hardly ever seen him, but I think about him all the time. The love you have for a child is like nothing else. You'll get through this somehow and it will all be worth it when you hold that baby in your arms."
The tears spilled over once more, and despite whatever bitterness might have remained between them, he took her in his arms, held her close.
"Michael..."
He looked into her eyes, and anything she might have intended to say left her mind immediately. She sought his mouth instinctively, kissed him as if she were drowning and he was a life raft.
He responded at first, returned her kisses with the fervor of passion too long denied, but before it could go too far, he suddenly pulled away as if he were a drunken man who'd unexpectedly sobered up.
"Woah there Darlin. Not a good idea. Not a good idea at all."
"I'm so sorry Michael. What kind of a person am I?"
"Human. Being comforted felt good, and you just got carried away, that's all. If it had been Peter, you probably would have kissed HIM."
"I don't know about that. There isn't the same history there."
"True. I guess it's always a bit tempting when you're hurting to turn to something familiar, something with good memories."
"You're not angry with me then?"
"Not even a little."
"Thank you. This meant so much to me. Can we talk again? Can I call you?"
"Sure. I want to know how everything turns out."
She hugged him, kissed his cheek then stood. "I should go. Tell Peter I said goodbye and I'll keep in touch."
"I will. You take care of yourself and the little one."
V
After she'd gone Peter stepped from his room sheepishly with a questioning look.
"I thought you went to bed Mr Peacemaker."
"Couldn't sleep. I was wondering..."
"Yeah? Well if you really want to know, I think I'm still in love with her. Only a couple of small problems-she's back together with her ex, married boyfriend and she's pregnant with his child. So this all just works out great doesn't it? Happy now Peter?"