Two Different Roads

Candle In The Wind

Ellen was in the middle of a particularly unpleasant dream when the phone rang early on the morning of August twenty-eighth. She shook off sleep and glanced at the bedside clock with bleary eyes, saw that it was just after three a.m..
Still only half aware, she turned toward the other side of the bed and realized it was empty. Mike was on another Monkees tour. He'd been gone for nearly two months this time. The one occasion she'd seen him since the middle of June was when he flew home to surprise her for her birthday on the eighth of July. Nightly phone calls had been their only communication apart from that.
They'd spoken just hours before, and he'd said he planned to go to sleep. He wouldn't call again and awaken her in the middle of the night unless something was terribly wrong. She reached for the phone with an overwhelming sense of dread no doubt enhanced by the nightmare she'd so recently risen from.
"Michael?"
"No, Ellie, it's me."
"What's wrong? What's happened john?"
"If Mike isn't home maybe I shouldn't..."
"Tell me. Vicky is here if you're worried about me being alone."
"It's Eppy-he's gone."
"What do you mean he's gone? Surely you're not saying..."
"I'm sorry El-hes dead. They found him in his bed. Accidental overdose of sleeping pills or something I guess."
"No, he can't be gone! I loved him like a brother!" She sobbed.
"We all did."
"When is the funeral?"
"Tomorrow, but the family wants it to be a private thing, just them. No friends and definitely no Beatles invited, so If you were planning on coming over, don't. It would be better for you to stay home any road in your condition. Don't ya think? The last thing you need is to let yourself get so upset that you lose another baby."
She suddenly broke down entirely.
"Shit! I shouldn't have said that. You don't need to be reminded of THAT right now either."
"It's all right. Your mouth ALWAYS goes faster than your brain," she said gently once she could form words again.
"There'll be a public memorial service later. Maybe you and Mike can attend THAT if it's still OK for you to travel by then. I'll let you know."
"Please do." She paused, suddenly asked, "Are YOU all right John?"
"I'm used to this by now, aren't I? People I care about always seem to die on me."
"There's nothing wrong with admitting you're hurting you know. If you ever want to talk, I'm here."
"I know that, and the same goes for me. I'll call again soon. After I hang up, wake up Vicky or call Mike wherever he is. You shouldn't be alone. Promise me?"
"I promise Johnny."
"I love you Ellie. I know you don't want to hear that, but life's too short for me not to say it."
She choked back more tears, admitted, "I love you too Johnny."