There's something peaceful in admitting defeat
Allowing the militia in your mind to take a holiday and celebrate at you admitting to their face that they won and you're surrendering
You wave the white flag while you sit below the splotchy sun bathing through the leaves
Now what?
There's no fourth of July at the end of this war
There is a sense of independence though, grieving at the loss of something you've held onto your whole life, sure, but independence nonetheless.
You let go, like a flightless bird plummetting from a cliffs edge
You admit you can't do it anymore.
You admit that this era of your life is done.
You're ready to settle in and move on, as counterproductive as wording that sounds
You're done holding on to the thoughts that prohibit you from being happy
You're done.
The blood stained flag is waved and with it comes a sigh of relief
The eyes of the enemy still watch and lurk as you sit idle now
They stalk and wait for you to become weak again, to let your guard down and forget to latch the gate behind you just once
But you've built something here now, and you're not letting yourself ruin it
The flowers are blooming again, and you're not letting them wilt.
I'm done sabotaging my own happiness with thoughts of past experiences, I'm done shooting myself in the foot Everytime something feels nice.
I'm done letting you win.
The bullet wounds are healing and the sun rises again, it might rain tomorrow but at least I'm equipped for it now that there's not something shooting holes in my gear
I'm done.
The echos scream sublime as I hit the pavement, the world falls still and idle eyes meet the demons that I've failed to befriend
But not in this timeline, not today.
"What happens when I stop being excited and fresh?"
You're only human, you can only do what you can do, and being you is literally all you can be.
"What if I trust too much again and get hurt again as a result?"
It's different this time. You know that. Don't let them get back through that gate. You got back in the saddle after the last time, this is it. You're in this now.
Just trust yourself. You're okay.
Your obsession with latching gates and counting the chain links that bind them won't go anywhere. But you're safe.
You admitted defeat and you're not hitting the pavement.
