for 21 years, rounding up, i've walking this earth feeling isolated
my hands are scarred and are too sweaty and chunky
my face is lopsided and my lips can't curl into a correct smile
my chin is bulbous and my facial hair (loose term) is scraggly at best.
but you hold my face and don't even see it
no, you see it.
but you embrace it
you take your wing and shield the parts of me from the rain so they have a chance to heal
you showed me the branch i stooped to for everyone i've ever thought i was close to was actually a root, and maybe that was the foundation of my problem
you sing a song louder than any bird i've seen before, but it makes me feel like i can finally sing, too
i don't feel shame with you, i feel human. i feel alive.
i feel like i can sing off key, loud and proud alongside your choir prepared gold laced notes and feel no remorse for it
i wake in the morning and seek you out, you know
i open my eyes and see the sunshine in my room and think of you with no hesitation. there's not even a second thought.
i sleep with discord and youtube open to check for messages from you first thing in the morning and message you as soon as my eyes peel open
but you've been hurt the same as i have, i see you
the hesitation in your micro expressions
the small pause when you truely get excited about something
your clipped wings and the legband that's grown in too deep from proper attention as a chick
i do see you, you bird of paradise. they dulled your colors and hid you from the sun.
but i want to be with you, i want to talk to you and spend time with you more than anything in the world.
you occupy the branches in my bones, my mind yearns to learn about you and my heart aches to speak with you and learn everything about you. i want to be there for you on the rainy days and soar with you on the sunny ones.
i am a horrible liar, i can't tell one to save my life.
i have no poker face and i am a dead giveaway anytime i try to get away with something.
but i also see you and know the hesitation that comes with belief, that's what the word reassurance is for
i'll assure you, again, and again, and again; if that's what you need
i love you and i'm not going anywhere, i want to help you be happy and i want to see you fly again
i hesitate too, in the trust department. but it just means i can understand what you're going through just a little bit more
