I used to believe unconditional love could only be held for things not made by man.
Things sculpted by the gods, filthy empowered palms scraping together twigs and mud to make a sad excuse of a reflection of the power they think they foster
Gods are manmade with the apples and snakes, they created themselves to host control over each other, then creating humans to have something else to hurt.
Sunsets were made by the universe, the moon waking up as the sun finally rests, a magical cacophony of solar rhythm.
They were my favorite thing for most of my life.
I used to sit outside every night to watch the routine, the moon relieving it's roommate in the orbit around all of us.
The night I sat on the kitchen floor while my dad made dinner, getting the notification that I had been matched with the man I was thinking about since sending the original right swipe just a little bit ago.
The first letter you sent being passed around the dining table like a child showing off a report card. I knew you only a week at that point and yet head over heels I fell.
From that first letter to a dozen more, that first phone call date to meeting up that first time and spending the night together like we'd known each other our whole lives. To the laughter we shared immediately to the tears we shared the next day, excuses not to leave one another and reasons to stay where we were. Long car rides and loud musical ballads as I purposefully miss our turn so I can hear you sing more, fall in love more.
Now almost two months we've shared a space that was once liminal in nature, empty walls and a quiet atmosphere. Now bright leds line the walls, ivy over the bed and more toys and stuffed creatures than our hearts know what to do with. A dog you accepted wholeheartedly even when she's dumb and a cat you fretted over for a week before she came home with us who now resides in your heart with me. Horses and bats full every corner of this room, passions forged in dreams and hope of a world where sky puppies aren't looked down on and where cowboys are in love.
I find myself hugging you tighter lately, longer and closer, too. I can't think of a world where we aren't together like this, the thought makes me appreciate what we have ten-fold. I'm so lucky to be here, to have someone who cares and makes sure I know I'm loved, privately and publically. I've never been so socially shown off the way you do with me, like I'm arm candy that you want to let everyone know is taken. I adore it, really.
You say you want to learn to slow dance but I believe we already are. The pendulum of time swings and rears its metallic head and we match the rhythm, if we get hit we get back up and try again. We aren't very coordinated, sure, but we're together. At least we can be off rhythm in time with each other. Like we're dancing among a slow shooting star, cosmic dust glistening in your eyes as your gentle hand rests on the small of my back. It's saying, "I've got you.", and I say it back with a squeeze and a smile.
I've got you, too.
