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Chapter 11
#wrewp
There was a study by Steele and Josephs (1990) about alcohol's dangerous effects. According to it, alcohol myopia suggests that alcohol narrows an individual's focus of attention, leading to a shortsighted perspective on their surroundings and actions. It also mentioned that when an individual is under the influence of alcohol, he or she might fail to consider the long-term consequences of their behavior— leading them to act in ways that they might regret later.
I could attest to it because I experienced it firsthand.
When I was drunk, I said things I shouldn't have said and did things I shouldn't have done in the first place. Parang nag-ibang tao ako kumbaga. Pero iba-iba naman ang epekto ng alak sa mga tao. Maaring kapag umiinom sila, nagkakaroon sila ng lakas ng loob sa mga bagay-bagay.
However, alcohol shouldn't justify bad actions.
But in my case, I was too drunk to even think. At mukhang gano'n din si Grant. Mukhang parehas kaming malambing . . . kapag lasing. Hindi niya rin siguro alam ang ginagawa niya.
Kung babae siguro ako, iisipin kong may gusto siya sa akin. E, hindi naman ako babae. Imposible rin na magkagusto siya sa akin o magkagusto sa kapwa lalaki. I had seen him with lot of hickeys in his body from his girls. Straight siya. At gano'n din ako. Kaya kahit kailan ay hindi dumako ang pag-iisip ko roon dahil alam kong imposible siyang mangyari.
My theory was proven further as my stares lingered on him.
Siniko ako ni Gabe sabay nguso kay Grant sa baba ng bleachers. "Si Grant ba 'yon? Kausap si Sayuri?"
Naningkit ang mata ko para mas matitigan ko. Grant was talking to Sayuri, the kind of talk that both seemed to be comfortable with each other. Gago ah! Ako dapat ang ipapakila riyan ni Isabelle bakit parang inunahan niya ako? Inunahan pa akong pumorma!
Paano na si Milca? Paano 'yung date nilang dalawa?
"Hala, ayan 'yung pinsan ni Isabelle 'di ba? 'Yung ipapakilala sana sa 'yo noong nakaraang linggo, Mat?" pahayag ni Lorie.
Tumango ako at bumuntong hininga.
"Oo, siya 'yon." Ang paniningkit ng mata ko ay napalitan ng masamang titig. "Inunahan pa ako ni gago."
Humalakhak si Gabe. "Bagal mo dude! Naunahan ka ni glasses boy!"
I scoffed. Ang landi niya naman. Tinutulak ko na nga si Milca lahat-lahat. Pinapabango ko pa nga 'yung pangalan sa harapan niya, tapos ito siya, lumalandi pa rin. Talaga naman. Kaya dapat sabihan ko rin si Milca na huwag mahulog kay Grant kasi siya ang lugi sa huli. Mukhang hindi ito marunong makuntento sa isa.
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay ni gago. He cautiously held her waist with respect as he smiled at her. Sayuri was laughing as she also held on top of Grant's hand. Para silang may sariling mundo. Inunahan nga talaga ako kay Yuri!
"Bakit may band aid na naman siya sa pisngi? Ilang araw na 'yan ah," nagtatakang tanong ni Lorie habang sumusulyap sa ibaba.
I stifled my laughter when I realized what caused that bruise. Malamang, ako. He said nonsense things to me while we were up close. He also did weird things with my hand! Syempre, dahil agad kong napagtanto kung anong nangyayari, nasuntok ko ulit siya. Parang noong nangyari lang sa library. But this time, he was drunk.
"Tanga 'yan eh," sabi ko.
"Lampa ba 'yan? Parang bawat linggo na lang laging may sugat," kagat labing usal ni Gabe.
