𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 | outerbanks²

021, SINGLE CLEANSING

CRUEL SUMMER
021, SINGLE CLEANSING

" I FEEL LIKE A ONE-NIGHT STAND." is what Sarah says when she notices Renee slipping back on her clothes from last night, leaving the pajamas of Sarah's she borrowed neatly folded on the chest of drawers.

The blonde turns around, looking at her friend who sniffles and wipes her nose again. Renee shakes her head " I didn't want to wake you, it's a miracle you even fell asleep last night." Renee hums.

Sarah sits up slightly " well, did you sleep when your dad died?" Sarah says, taking Renee by slight surprise as the blonde shakes her head.

" um, I think I stayed in a motel for a week, I couldn't sleep at home." She tells Sarah. It was horrible, stiff bed, most likely roaches crawling in the walls. It wasn't the ritz by any means — but it wasn't down the hall from the room where she lost her best friend, so she could sleep. It wasn't a good sleep, but she could at least sleep.

And Renee tilts her head " and then, I crashed with John B at the chateau- and as we know," she softly smiles " the rest is history."

Sarah nods, another sniffle " are you going over there?" she says, Renee looking away from Sarah as she shakes her head.

" I think I need time away." Renee tells her, not looking at the furrowed brows of Sarah's face although it doesn't matter when the girl from the bed hums a " why?"

Renee turns her head " I kissed JJ yesterday." Noticing the slightly widening of Sarah's eyes " it was on the cheek, nothing R-rated but-"

She takes a breath " I've built everything around him, he's my safety net — every bad thing that has happened to me I run to him for, when I think of safety I think of him and stupid chunky boats and his hats and the scent of that stupid surf wax he drowns his board in, how safe I feel with him."

Sarah notices the shaking in her voice that Renee doesn't as she shakes her head " and he can't anymore, he's not my boyfriend so he can't be my safety blanket."

" so you're just going to stop being a pogue?" Sarah asks which forces a scoff from Renee's throat, as she looks to her friend.

" no, hell no!" she tells her, " we just need time, time away— I need time away from it all."

Renee notice how Sarah nods her head, " that's actually not a bad idea." she hums.

Renee keeps her shoes off, climbing back onto the sheets of the side of the bed she slept on. Muttering a ' come here' to her friend who snuggled herself in the arms of the blonde.

" you know I would stay-" Renee exhales as Sarah nods " don't worry, I don't want to be in the same house as Rafe either." she tells her.

Renee squeezed her arms around her friend, burrowing her head into the crook of her neck, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

" I love you." Renee whispers as Sarah sniffles again,

" I love you more." she says, and Renee smiles "and I'm here, if you need anything."

Sarah nods her head again, as the sound of the door slamming shut makes a slight shiver run down Renee's back — " I better go." she says, letting go of Sarah.

She nods, watching as the blonde slips on her shoes and walks over to the window that she had seamlessly climbed in and out of millions of times before.

Slipping up the window as she turns, " really, if you need anything-" she tells Sarah who jokingly rolls her eyes.

" please go and do your single cleansing." Renee laughs softly as she nods, doing a playful salute before sliding out. Tracing the same way out of the room that she came back like muscle memory.

Slipping into the front door, Renee letting out a small sigh of relief that nor her brother or mom were in. Slipping off her shoes as she walked up to her room, the room she hadn't been in since the break up.

The bed still unmade, the crumbled tissues still lying on the floor of the bathroom. JJ's still scattered around the room — her hands palm her face as she exhales. Even the balcony door crooked open from that night; letting gasps of fresh air into the room for the last couple days.

It feels like a crime scene, making Renee feel as if she's treading on treacherous ground. Like she's not meant to be here, like she's meant to just close this door and never come back to it again.

Renee can't deny that the watering of her eyes isn't allergies as she moves to her closest — immediately being able to see his clothes piled on the floor. Because when JJ technically moved in he didn't want to take up closet space. So a pile of his belongings just sit on the floor, in his best attempt to keep it neat. But JJ's messy, and until today he's always been her mess.

Her movements closer are hesitant, eventually crouching beside the pile. fingers pinching the material of one of his shirts — lifting it to her nose and inhaling. Unable to hide my disappointment when it smells more like the Landry detergent that her mum uses than it does him, her safety blanket.

" stupid stupid." Renee mumbles lowly to myself, throwing the T-shirt back down — tilting her head upwards as she blows out a puff of air.

Eyes clenching shut as she mentally prepares herself for what's she's about to do, interrupted by the sound of her brother's voice.

" you know you don't have to move on yet?" Lennon hums, his little sister turning to look at him, " it's been what? three days?" he hums as Renee shakes her head.

"No, I need to." she assures herself " being with him all the time and having all his stuff here isn't helping me move on."

Lennon leans into the doorway " and is that what you what? to move on?" he asks as Renee feels the downturn of her lips.

No, of course she doesn't. If it were up to her they'd still be together and he'd be here.

But he's not, he broke up with her. And be known to Renee, he lies on the pullout of the chateau. Feeling this familiar wave of sadness when he rolls over and stretches his arm to reach for someone who no longer lies beside him.

Renee nods her head, gathering as much of his clothing as she can as she stands up to face her brother " yes, yes I do."

Pushing past and placing them on the small sofa pushed against the wall. In their unkept state they all tumble slightly as Renee turns around flashing her brother a smile who still looks unsure at her.

She lets out this exasperated exhale " Lennon, I am fine." she says in an effort to convince herself as well as her brother, " I'm seventeen, breaking up with your boyfriend is normal!"

He stays silent, still furrowing his brows — able to see the way that Renee's smile twitches in the corners like a glitch in the mask that she's wearing. Unlike Renee who actually believes herself as being fine.

But instead of fighting her on it, he just nods " if you're so fine, I'm guessing you're going to the bonfire tonight?" he hums, leaning up from the doorway.

Renee furrows her brow, mentally trying to figure out when exactly it became the night that the bonfire happens — it happened every year, the same weekend. But still, the sensation of time slipping from her became apparent as she just looked at her brother with a smile.

" since when have I ever missed the bonfire?"

AUTHORS NOTE.
so...ren, JJ & fletch at the same party? definitely no drama here 😙