Seeing him prostrate himself in such a way had her running over to him. She grabbed his arms " get up ! " She said getting upset, she wasn't worth it , she was a no one ..he was..." please get up " she said trying to pull him up. He wouldn't budge. She knelt down in front of him , tears in her eyes " why are you doing this?" She asked " I should be the one saying sorry to you !" He looked up at her then confused ,
" why would you say sorry to me ?" He asked .." because I made a scene , because I embarressed you in front of Rm ..I'm sorry "
He shook his head " I broke the rules , , I should have been more understanding , I was curious and let my curiosity get to the better of me "
She stood up and walked towards the sofa . They had both apologised , she wiped her tears away... surely there was nothing more to say ... " so.." she took a breath ".I have apologised for causing a scene and you've apologised . We can just call it even and I can leave. You don't have to feel bad about anything " she straightened her shoulders " please stand up , no hard feeling okay ?" She held her hand out as though to shake his, all he could do was look at her. " leave ?" He asked " why would you leave , why can't we talk some more ? " he stood up and walked towards the kitchette " have another cup of tea at least "
He didn't want her to leave , he wanted her to stay , to lay in his bed with him .......he didn't have time to analyse these wants he could only act on them . He flicked the switch on the kettle, hoping if he just made the tea politeness would make her stay..
" what else is there to talk about ?" She questioned softly , as though all the fight had left her ..." well...I don't know " he said running his hands through his hair " we can...well we...now we've made up couldn't we carry on ...like we were....before ?" He asked
Shock and confusion made her heart thumped wildly " why would you want to do that ?" She asked genuinely baffled . He turned to look at her " well why wouldn't I? " he said not fully understanding her problem " are you still angry ? I swear I won't ever touch it again or even mention it if you don't want me to , I'll abide by all the rules "
Her mind was working 100 miles an hour and only one logical reason stood out ..pity !
Anger washed over her " I don't need a pity fuck thank you very much !" She spat out and turned and ran towards the door.
" Stop!" He shouted, not caring if anyone else heard him now . She stopped but didn't turn around , she was afraid if she saw him her anger would turn to pain and she'd cry ..again .
" pity fuck ?!? " He asked , unable to believe what he was hearing , he came up behind her and pushed his groin into her " does this feel like pity to you ?" He said knowing she would feel his erection " a man can fake many things but not this ! This is how I feel everytime im with you !" She pulled away , she was shaking , eyes shining with unshed tears she turned to face him " how can you be turned on by me still! knowing I'm a monster ,!"
He stumbled back in shock shaking his head , his heart breaking just a little as he finally realised the extent of pain her scar left " monster ?" He said quieter , calmer " I don't see a monster , I see a beautiful , strong, sexy , amazing women who's hurting , I see an independent women who isn't afraid to admit to wanting something, who isn't afraid to be different. Teri ...look at me " he came up closer to her and wiped away one of her tears with his thumb " I see you and in my eyes you are flawless "
She crumbled , bending down and holding her bent knees she cried , she had no more words , no one had ever called her beautiful before , she cried for the years of self hatred she had inflicted apon herself and Suga just bent down with her and held her , he didn't say any more , some how he ended up sat on the floor, his back against the wall and Teri on his lap crying into his shoulder, he didn't know how long they sat like that , he rubbed her hair until her crying became a sniffle then quiet , he continued holding her until he felt a shift in her weight and knew she'd fallen asleep , well it was nearly 4am .
He wasn't the strongest of the group by any means but he wasnt weak either , using the wall as leverage he managed to lift her up and carry her over to his bed . As he laid her down a tiny little whimper came from her but then she settled.
Once he was sure she was asleep and ok he made quick use of the bathroom , washed and brushed his teeth and then grabbed a spare duvet from a cupboard and went an laid on the sofa, he wanted desperately to hold her in his arms and fall asleep , a want he had never had before , but not tonight, tonight she needed to heal and sleep and so did he .
It took quite a while, thoughts flew round his mind , like the flying keys in one of the Harry Potter movies....he wondered who had hurt her ? Had she been in an accident ? Had she been abused ? She never mentioned family ? Would she even talk to him in the morning? He hoped so...eventually though exhaustion took him and he fell asleep , duvet over him with his legs hanging over the end of the sofa .. and that's how she found him the next morning.
She had woken up and it had taken a moment to recall all of the events of the previous night , when she did , she had sat up , looking around the bed then the room for him. ...she had spotted his feet dangling and had actually smiled....she didn't know why, maybe it was the thought of Suga being a gentleman that made her laugh.
She got out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom ,then stared at her face in the mirror , her eyes were red rimmed and swollen, her hair spiky one side but flat the other where she'd fallen asleep ... and he'd called her beautiful? A warmth spread through her body , but then , in the cold light of day, the warmth was chased away by her usual doubts , doubts and negative thoughts that were like an old companion , one she'd had for years, one she may not like but was known , it was a familiar pain , unlike the fear that would come from letting him in and then hurting her .
She hoped he would still be asleep as she quietly opened the bathroom door .
" good morning beautiful " came the cheery , smiley greeting from Suga , who was stood looking like the cat that got the cream . 'Run!!!!' Her thoughts screamed at her , but before she could move hed taken two steps and wrapped his arms around her , she sighed , but slowly wrapped hers around him too and said " morning " She said , knowing she'd lost the battle with in herself .
