Tom Riddle - Downfall

Chapter 79: Decisions

Over the next few weeks, I'll try to get back to normal. I attend classes, spend time with my friends and give myself as little time as possible to think. But something feels different, in general. I don't spend as much time with Kim anymore and I spend a lot of time with the boys and Tom. They accept me for who I am now, for who I've become. They even appreciate it.

Tom can't help but stare at me as I sit in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. My mind seems to be elsewhere, and my expression is thoughtful and distant, as if I'm deep in thought about something important. But there's no doubt in his mind that I'm still the same person from the first day, and he's drawn to watching me. He has to know what's going on in my mind, and he can't help but observe me with a mixture of interest and adoration. His eyes are glued to me.

Kim looks over at us with a sad expression. Maybe I should talk to her and get closer to her again. I quickly discard the thought and concentrate on my lessons. After school, I pack up my things and hurry after Kim

"Kim! Wait!"

Kim's mood instantly changes when I call her name, she turns around to look at me with an expression of surprise, as if she didn't expect me to talk to her again. She pauses and waits for me to catch up to her, and she's clearly curious to know what I want to say to her.

"Do you have a moment for me?"

I say slightly nervously, not knowing how the conversation will go now
Kim isn't sure what I want to say to her, she was certain that I didn't want to talk to her anymore, but now I've come back to her. She nods her head slowly and she's trying to keep an open mind and a friendly expression. "Yes, I do...what is it that you want to talk about?"

"About us. Our friendship has changed somehow, don't you think?" of course I know this is more my fault than hers, but I can't leave things as they are right now

Kim's expression softens a bit as I mention our friendship and how things have changed recently. She nods slowly and she understands what I'm getting at, she knows that the distance between us two has grown and she's just as aware as me of the way things have shifted. She knows that it's a difficult situation, but she's open to discussing it with me. "Yes, I honestly do feel like our friendship has changed recently, it's like there's...a distance between us now."

"Why do you think that is?" I ask the question rather rhetorically. I know that she doesn't like Tom and his clique and that probably won't change any time soon. Nevertheless, I would love to try

Kim takes a moment to think before she responds to me. She knows that she's on the brink of saying something that might hurt my feelings, but she also wants to be honest with me. She wants to find a way to work things out between the two of us, and she's willing to say what needs to be said in order to do so. "I'm not going to deny it, I think that your friendship with Tom and the rest of the Knights has something to do with the distance between us."

"But how can we get it to work again?" and Kim's look already tells me what I can't believe. Because in the end, it can't be both. I have to make a decision

Kim's expression tells me that she doesn't know if she can accept a compromise here, she wants to be friends with me but she also doesn't want to have to deal with Tom and his friends. It would be difficult to balance both of these things at once, and she's worried that she'll end up feeling like the third wheel if she tries. She feels like she has to pick a side, but she really doesn't want to lose me as a friend.

"I...really don't know how to balance both things, I don't think it's possible..."

"Are you serious?" I say with a lump in my throat.

Kim's voice is low and quiet as she nods her head slowly and she looks down at the ground in front of her. It's clear that she's feeling very sad and conflicted about the situation, she's starting to regret the fact that things have come to this point. But she really doesn't want to lose me as a friend.