"Maghiwalay na tayo, Joaquin. That's all i want. Annulment."
I never imagined saying these words to him. Never in my wildest dreams i thought of ending everything we have. It was hard, but i knew better. I knew i have to.
He brushed his hair with his fingers. He looked so frustrated. He heave a sigh. I was just eyeing him, trying to gauge his reactions. He looked up and blinked numerous times. He looked back at me with weary eyes. I didn't faltered.
"Is that what you really want? Annulment?" He said those with his unsure voice. I gulped the lump on my throat.
Sigurado ako sa desisyon ko. Ilang beses kong pinagisipan. Alam kong ito lang ang paraan para makalaya kami sa sakit na nararamdaman namin.
"Oo, sigurado ako. It's for the best, Joaquin." Wow, nakakaproud at hindi ako nautal. Ngayong nasabi ko 'to eh para akong papanawan ng ulirat. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko.
Pero halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang muli nyang ihampas ang nga kamay sa lamesang pumapagitna saaming dalawa. Gulo-gulo na yung buhok nya. Ilang beses rin syang pumipikit ng mariin.
"It's for the best? Alaina, do you hear yourself? Paano mo nasabing para 'to sa ikabubuti natin kung magiging dahilan to kung bakit masisira tayong dalawa?" Hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ako sa sinabi nya, sa itsura nya, o sa kadahilanang hindi sya nagtataas ng boses. Pero may diin parin sa mga iyon.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin. Hindi ko kinakaya ang intensidad ng mga titig nya. Ayokong manlambot dahil sa mga iyon. Ayokong lokohin na naman ang sarili ko. Dahil alam kong kapag tumitig ako sa mga mata nya, babagsak ako. Babagsak na naman ako sakanya.
"How dare you assume things without even knowing my side." It was a whisper. A cruel whisper that caused my attention to snapped back at him.
"Joaquin, hindi mo ba maintindihan? Mas mabuti na-"
"Paano mo nasasabing makabubuti to kung parang pinapatay mo na rin ako?" I felt every fiber in my body froze upon hearing his words. I couldn't even process everything.
Hindi ako nakasagot. Natakot ako sa mga kung anong masabi ko. Totoo pala iyon no? Nakakatakot talaga ang sarili mong galit.
Ayokong masaktan sya. Tama na.
"Waki, tinatapos ko na nga yung sakit eh. Para hindi na tayo mahirapan." He shook his head violently. Hindi nya pinapakinggan ang mga sinasabi ko.
"No, Lai. You didn't even try to hear me out. I... Have my reasons too..."
He looked down. I looked away. I cannot bear the sight of him crying infront of me anymore. His sobs were audible. It was getting louder. That his shoulders started to move.
"Huwag na nating pag-usapan pa 'to." Tumayo na ako at tinalikuran sya. Pero bago pa ako makalayo ay muli syang nagsalita.
"Buo na ba talaga ang desisyon mo?" He asked through his sobs. I closed my eyes tightly, swallowing my sorrows.
"Oo. Hindi na magbabago ang isip ko." I said those without even turning my back to face him.
"Then give me a reason why should I let you go. Give me a good reason, so that i can finally let you go." I clenched my fists trying to muster another courage to speak up.
I sighed heavily. Tears was still cascading down my cheeks. It's so painful. Everything is painful. It was like a torture. A torture that felt so good yet directed us to this hell point.
I looked back at him. Catching his intense stares. Looking at those brown orbs with so much determination to end things and free ourselves from the string that tied us from the very beginning.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Gentle Truth
RomanceGENTLEMEN SERIES #1 More than just a best friend, Alaina cherished Joaquin. She had feelings for him since they were young, and Joaquin was aware of his constant differences. There's nothing wrong with him being gay; his family and closest friend bo...
