Absolution

7- Open wound

Callie POV

TW

i stayed home as long as i could, but when my dad returned friday morning, he was furious.

"you need to go callie, the school has been calling me, and i'm not dealing with it" my dad spoke angrily to me

"i told you i've been sick, i don't know what else to say" i was trying to get sympathy, but i don't know why i bothered

"this is exactly what happened at your last school, and i'm not dealing with it again. you got what you wanted, you're at a new school, so go and make some fucking friends" my dad was angrily putting plates away as he spoke.

"i can't dad, you don't understan-"

"NO, callie. i don't understand. you're going to school today. end of!" my dad rarely shouts. so i knew he was serious. i just nodded, going upstairs.

my only comfort today was seeing i didn't have math, which meant i had no classes with brady. i did have a class with mason, but i would probably just skip that. i didn't want to see any of them

one of the things i'd enjoyed about being in american school was being able to wear what i wanted. clothes that felt like me.

i didn't feel like me today.

opted for black leggings and a large hoodie. luckily it wasn't as hot today so i would probably get away with it

i set out for school knowing i'd be late, but i didn't care. i smoked as i walked, trying to calm myself to no avail.

i managed to get through three lessons before i couldn't take it anymore. the stares and quiet whispers. the lustful looks from the boys and judgemental looks from the girls.

i had never felt more self conscious in my life.

"you okay?" a girl next to me spoke. i'd never spoken to her, despite sitting next to eachother for two of my lessons

she was pretty. ref toned hair, big brown eyes. a welcoming smile, and a sad sympathetic look on her face.

i just nodded. if i spoke, i think id break.

"okay" was all she said, before she turned her attention back to the front.

i should've spoke. it would be nice to have a girl friend. but i just couldn't.

after that lesson, i caught of glimpse of brady and his friends. i panicked, so i turned heel and started walking the other way.

i walked towards the top of the school, it looked relatively quiet.

i slid my back down the wall, and sat on the floor. the sun went away, and the sky became gray.

with that, i finally let myself cry. i was happy for a few days, that's all i got, and now im starting to hate this place too

i started to wonder if i was capable of being happy. like not just have good days, but feel genuinely happy and content in my life.

i know a lot of people would kill to be in my position, having money and freedom to do what i want. it makes me feel ungrateful.

but i can't stop feeling like i'd rather be anyone one. someone who's capable of happiness, and deserving of love.

maybe i was cursed.

in the distance, i saw a figure walking towards me. i couldn't make out who it was. i assumed it was going to be mason. he hasn't spoke to me since that day.