Absolution

29- Spiral

Callie POV

the words coming out of the boys mouths felt like daggers. one after the other as i realised the severity of the situation brady was in

he could get 20 years for attempted murder.

20 years.

i felt sick. i didn't speak as the information was spat at me. one soul crushing fact after the other.

"callie" grayson pulled the kitchen chair next to me, "landon told me what happened with marcus, why brady did what he did."

i looked up at him for a second, taking in the sympathetic look in his eyes.

"i've never been more proud of him for what he did, but callie he can't go to prison." he hesitated for a second. "but i think you can prevent it"

i looked up at him in panic

please don't say it

"you need to tell the police what marcus did"

"no" i said immediately

"callie-" mason began

"i can't... do that" i tried to steady my breathing, but it was hard

"if you press charges against him, he'll either get time himself, and brady will get less, to none," he spoke, "or marcus will drop the charges completely in fear of going to prison himself"

"callie you can't just not think about it. marcus deserves it after all" landon spoke softly to me.

i was silent for a minute. i was going to be sick

"i'll think about it. can you just leave, and tell me if you hear from him"

"can i tell brady's lawyer that you will do that for him?" grayson asked more seriously.

"fuck- i don't know. just give me a few hours please" i pleaded with him, as he reluctantly stood up to leave.

i walked upstairs, staring at myself in the mirror. my chest hurt, it felt tight. i couldn't breathe properly. i was having a panic attack.

i didn't have any pills. or weed. nothing.

i just stared at myself, trying to calm myself down to no avail.

i saw my mum in this moment. in my eyes, the ones where the light had come back, bringing back that piece of her to the world again.

i don't want to see this.

with shaky hands, i smashed the mirror, the glass falling everywhere. with a bleeding fist, i slowly picked up a shard of glass, holding it to my wrist.

and as i slid it along, i felt calmer. seeing the blood trickle down and drip onto the floor was grounding for me to see, and the pain distracted me from my panic attack

i stared at it for a couple minutes, watching the blood spill out, making a mess i had no desire to clean.

it worked, for a little while, but once the blood had slowed, and the initial shock of the pain had worn off, the panic attack continued

with blood still dripping out, i left the house, practically running down the street, making it to levs house. i tried the door, but it was locked

i banged again and again and again until lev finally swung the door open.

"what the fuck" he said slowly, taking in the sight of me covered in blood.

"give me something, anything" i cried out, finally letting the tears fall

"callie what the fuck. you need to go to the hospit-

"IM NOT GOING TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL" i shouted at him. "please, just give me a couple pills"

he took me inside, handing me the bag of pills as he disappeared into another room briefly.

i popped 4 of them, praying for them to kick in so i could calm down. i just needed my heart to slow, and i would be okay

lev returned with a first aid kit, as he immediately grabbed my arm and started cleaning the cut

my heart rate started to slow, and i could hear myself think again. i took deep breaths as lev bandaged up my arm

"how'd you know how to do that?" i asked, trying to break the tension

"it's just a bandage callie, you need to go to the hospital and get that stitched." he spoke softly.

it was so quiet in levs house without people here. it actually felt really comforting.

after about 15 minutes, i saw kieron walk down the stairs, taking in the sight of me. he frowned at me, but he gave me a knowing look, like he understood somehow

"i'm gonna take her home, thanks" kieron spoke sincerely as he helped me to my feet, walking out to his car

i told keiron everything. he also told me i should tell the police. not for brady, for myself.

i didn't know how i felt. i knew deep down i needed to help brady after everything's he's done. but i didn't know if i had the strength to do it

but as kieron pulled up to my house, insisting on staying the night to make sure i didn't hurt myself again, i realised for the first time in my life how many people i had around me who truly cared for me.

and though we had a bad start, i cared for brady the most.

so, the next morning, me and keiron headed to brady's house. where i told his parents and brother everything

explaining to people i don't really know the details of my assault was difficult, but i could feel the love and support immediately

i needed them to know that brady wasn't a bad person. that he did what he did for me, and i can't let him go to prison for it

so they called their lawyer, and everything was arranged.

a/n i have absolutely no idea how courts and how all this kind of thing works, especially in america, so just bear with me, it's a story for a reason <3