Absolution

10- Lies

Callie POV

the girls name was ivy, and she was amazing.

the whole rest of the night after i woke up was awful. i was crying, throwing up, panic attacks

i couldn't get the feeling off of me, like marcus was still here. i could feel his hands over me. i hated it

ivy was there the whole night. she held me, and let me cry into her, and comforted me

i hardly knew her, yet she sacrificed a night of sleep to deal with me in this state. i felt cared for, truly.

at some point, she convinced me to take a shower. the water was scolding hot, to the point where it was actually hurting, but i liked it.

i tried to clean myself, but i felt so dirty. the bruises on my hips from where he was grabbing me so hard has already formed, a long with the one on my cheek. just a brutal reminder that it was real, and i wasn't dreaming.

"callie? you okay?" ivy called out from the door

"i'll just be a sec" i said just loud enough to be heard over the water.

i scrubbed some more, but it was pointless, so i gave up.

after drying myself and slipping on the comfy clothes ivy gave me, i stared at myself in her large vanity mirror.

my whole life, i'd always considered myself pretty. as vain as it sounds, i loved the way i looked.

but the thing i loved about myself the most was my eyes, because they're what remind me most of mum.

i was only 9 when she died, and her face has become a blur in my memories, but the one thing i could never forget were her eyes.

but as i stared intently at myself, trying to find any trace of my former self, my eyes were dark. they were dead, and i no longer could see mum.

"callie?" ivy knocked again.

i closed my eyes tightly, and turned away, opening the door.

"my mom made food" she smiled, holding out two plates of pancakes. i couldn't help but smile at her.

me and ivy talked all day, and it was insane to me how much we had in common.

we both moved to american school from different countries, except she came from cuba and was a lot younger when she did.

we both only had one parent, she had her mum, who was sweet and caring, and i had my dad who... was here.

we had similar dreams, hobbies, everything. it was bizarre how i could meet someone who was so similar to me, but also the polar opposite.

after talking to her for a few hours, i already had a good idea of who she was. she was the embodiment of kindness, and selflessness.

she told me how mason ghosted her when they got to high school, after being best friends for 5 years. and she wasn't even angry. i would've been

she said she understood, and she still cares about him, which i also didn't understand. and that was the difference between us

i don't think i could care for someone who had fucked me over like that. and funnily enough, mason was also an example for me.

i feel like i could forgive him, but not care for him. because if he could betray me like that, then he doesn't deserve my love

same goes for his friends, and brady.

"do you want to talk about last night?" she finally asked, addressing the elephant in the room

i opened my mouth to speak, and stuttered on my words a bit. i wanted to tell her. i really did. she would understand, she could help me. i knew that. but then i got a brief flashback of last night