Absolution

11- 1:47am

Brady POV

*two weeks later*

i woke up with a splitting headache. i knew i would have a hangover, but fuck.

ever since that night, i've been doing nothing but getting drunk, high, whatever i could get my hands on

i wanted to ask callie what happened, i really fucking did. but i couldn't, because everytime i looked at her, she stared back at me with resentment.

i knew she didn't want to talk to me, but it's all i could think about.

it was funny, because the more i thought about it, the more i realised how little i actually know her. we've had less than 5 conversations, yet i've seen every inch of her.

i know hardly anything about her, yet i feel like i can see her. and the more i see her around school, the more i realise how fucking dumb everyone is

because something is seriously wrong with her.

if i just kept my fucking mouth shut, and not been an asshole for once in my life, none of this would've happened

every day since had been the same. i go to school, and everytime i see someone say anything to callie, or look at her the wrong way, they end up with a black eye or a broken nose.

if i couldn't help her directly, i wanted to indirectly.

then after school, i have my friends over and i drink until i pass out, or i go to parties and do enough coke to kill me.

i know how bad it's gotten, as even my brother has noticed.

grayson was in college, despite getting kicked out of high school, he picked himself back up and managed to swing it somehow.

it's not harvard or anything, but it's still something. and it's also not far from home, so he comes home every once in a while

he was here today, i could hear him talking with my parents as i headed downstairs

"hey little bro" he smiled at me sarcastically

"fuck off" i smirked, pouring myself a drink and grabbing the pills out the drawer. i needed to get rid of this hangover

i spoke to my family for a while, mostly about what graysons been up to at college, before getting in the shower.

callie seemed happy recently. she'd been spending every second with ivy. they were always together at school, and mason told me she was always at her house after school.

i was happy for her, and glad she made a friend. she deserved one.

grayson drove me to school. he claimed that i was probably still drunk, and he was probably right

"so you got a girlfriend yet?" he smirked at me

"you know i don't get involved in that shit" i replied, looking out the window

"grow up brady" he laughed, "it can't feel good for you"

"i think a girlfriend would just add unnecessary stress to my life. i don't need it" i laughed

"okay, sure" he nodded his head slightly, "so there's no girl?"

"no" i replied quickly, trying to contain my smirk

"alright, bro" he said as he turned up the music, drowning out my thoughts.

after he dropped me off, i made my way over to landon, who was smoking by the edge of the school

"damnn" he laughed "you look like shit"

"fuck off" i ran my hand through my hair, sitting down to join him

"you coming to allisons tonight?" i asked, sparking up my smoke

"are you sure you're up for another party. you look like you could drop dead any minute" he half-joked with me.

"i'm cool" i replied non-convincingly.

i looked up to see ivys car pull into the car park. the same time everyday, i watch ivy and callie.

it's always up and down. some days callie gets out and shes beaming, laughing at something ivy said as they walk into school together.

other days i can feel the sorrowful vibe from over here. where they're not talking, and callie looks so dismal.

callie seemed happy today.

"just go talk to her for fuck sake" landon smirked as he flicked his cig away.

i ignored him, as mason isaiah and ronan all walked over.

————

it was 1:47am, and i was already fucked up.

i've had a bad habit recently of taking any drink or drug anyone offers me, which i never used to do.

i was completely, and utterly, fucked.

even in this state, where my brain isn't working properly and my head feels empty, tonight in particular i couldn't get callie off my mind

it might've been liquid courage, or the drugs influencing me, or maybe even my guilt. but i called callie

"hello?" she asked, sounding confused

"hey, um hey" i tried to sound as normal as possible. "how are you"

there was a moment of silence.

"i'm okay? are you okay?"

"yeah, yeah no i'm good, never better actually" i rambled. "listen i have something i need to say to you and i just need you to listen okay?"

"sure?" she sounded very unsure.

"so, obviously we both know that i'm a fucking asshole, and what i did to you was completely out of line and horrible and it's probably one of the worst things i've ever done so i'm sorry"

she didn't say anything, so i just kept letting the words spill out

"and you know, that night we had, it was so special and i'm so sorry for ruining it by what i did. i'm just such a pussy and you hurt my ego- which is completely not your fault by the way" i clarified

"and i just wanted you to know that i'm here for you"

there was another silence, but when it was apparent i was done, she spoke

"well, thankyou for your apology" she spoke. it was hard to understand how she felt without being able to see her, "maybe you should go home. you sound like you've had enough to drink for one night"

"no no no, i'm great, i've never felt more alive actually" i was pacing around the front lawn quickly as i spoke.

"okay then" she said confused, "well, is there anything else you needed?"

"no- actually yes" i stopped in my tracks, wondering if this was the right thing to do"

"can you tell me what happened? at that party a couple weeks ago. i know it's not my place, callie, but it's been driving me fucking insane and i need to know so i can help you. you need to know that i can help you"

another silence, before she hung up on me

fuck.

i mentally slapped myself, as i went back inside. why did i fucking bring it up? i knew i shouldn't of, but whoever or whatever happened, i can help her. she had to know that.

i found my friends, grabbing another bottle as i tried to take my mind off what just happened.