Finding Love Series #5: Quest For Dear

CHAPTER SIXTEEN [Unedited]

Warning: Matured Content

"Will you marry me?"

Tahip-tahip ang kaba ko habang hinihintay ang sagot ni XL. It took for me a days before my plan executed. I even asked help for Nelia because I didn't really know what to do.

Moreover, it's our 3rd monthsarry as a couple. Sinakto ko talaga sa mismong araw ng monthsarry namin para mas lalong lumakas ang luob ko. It took for me alot of courage to do this.

Mas lalong lumakas ang kaba ko nang hindi ko narinig ang sagot niya. So this is how he feels back when he didn't answer me to his question, so disappointing and so so much hurt.

I don't even hear him breathing, just staring down at me with unreadable expression.

At mas lalo akong nasaktan nang marinig ang sinambit ni XL na sana hindi ko na lang narinig. "I'm sorry."

I was still kneeling infront of him while he's standing opposite of me. I was looking up at him and him was looking down on me. Very similar scenery but our position reversed.

Nakalahad pa rin sa harap niya ang singsing na pinaka-unang pinaggastusan ko ng sariling pera para sa sarili. This may not cost alot but my intention and value of the ring was more cost on itself.

Kung hindi ko pa nararamdaman ang pagluhod niya rin sa harap ko at pagpunas ng luhang hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na pala. My tears were always at the edge of my eyes, waiting for its turn to rolled down over my cheeks.

Was it because I'm an onion skin or I'm really hurting right now?

Rejection. It's always the reason why some people are afraid to risk. It's also recognize the part of life. Nevertheless, we must accept what happened whether it's good or bad.

It's hurt to be rejected, yes. But that doesn't mean, you should question yourself and your worth as a person. Masakit naman talaga mareject lalo na kung gustong-gusto mo ang isang tao o ang isang bagay pero ika nga nila, hindi lahat ng bagay na gusto mo, makukuha mo. Sometimes, there's much more bigger and beautiful blessings for you.

Hindi man natanggap ang confession mo, at least, nagpakatotoo ka at malakas ang luob mo. Sabi pa nga nila, walang makukuha sa hiya-hiya.

Maybe..... Or really true that this things or person is not really for you. Kasi may nakalaang iba para sayo.

"I don't make excuses for hurting you because I am hurting you, really." He gets from hold the box of the ring and put it it besides us. Still wiping my tears using his fingers and silently cursed himself.

He makes me calm first before he gets the red box and open it, revealing the purple decor smooth ring I brought for him.

And slowly, he wear it around his ring finger and stare at it with awe, amazement, admiration and love on his eyes that made me stop from sobbing.

He even caress it using his other hand then look at me again with mixable expression. Punong-puno ng emosiyon ang singkit niyang mata at parang ngumingiti. Typical sa isang chinitong tulad niya.

"So beautiful just like my girl." Nang hindi pa rin ako nagsalita, nagpatuloy siya. "I apologized not because I'll say no but because it's my work as a man. Although, it didn't hurt my pride because I'm happy. So so much happy. Hindi ko akalain na magpo-prose ka sa akin. Fuck! I love you so so much."

We're still kneeling on the floor but he made me stand afterwards and guide me to sit. Hindi pa rin nawawala sa paningin niya ang singsing na nakasuot sa palasingsingan ni XL.

My man couldn't hide the awe on his face. Animong magfle-flex siya sa social media sa sobrang paghanga rito.

And speaking of social media, I still haven't mention to him about the guy I met in dating app series. Matagal na kasing nawala sa isip ko ang naging kaibigan sa sandaling panahon mula nang makilala at naging kami ni XL.