Finding Love Series #5: Quest For Dear

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX [Unedited]

"Accept text if you wish to continue."

I really don't have intention to use the Dating App but then, there's nothing to lose if i try, right? And besides, I might quest my dear here. That's why it's Quest for Dear.

"What do you mean?" Matagal bago nakasagot si Monte Mayor, ang unang kausap ko sa app.

"Nothing. I just don't know how to tell her that I..... Like her." I read it again for the second time, baka kasi namali lang ako ng binasa pero walang nagbago. Ganun pa rin. Pareho pa rin ang mensahe niya. Na hindi niya alam kung paano magtapat ng..... Nararamdaman.

It took for me to replied, "You seek for..... Advice?" Kahit obvious na, nagtanong pa rin ako. And I admit I feel bothered and..... Jealous.

From: Monte Mayor

Can you?

Inabot pa ng ilang segundo ang lumipas bago ako nagtipa ng reply,

To: Monte Mayor

Sige.

"Hindi ako maganda. Hindi maganda ang katawan ko, hindi tulad ng ibang babae na balingkinitan at payat. Hindi rin ako kaputian. Katangkaran. Katalinuhan. Hindi rin makinis ang kutis ko. Walang self-confident. In short, I'm just a nobody and plain girl. Kaya nagtatakha talaga ako kung ano ang nagustuhan mo sa akin....... XL." Napaiwas ako ng tingin pagkatapos kong sabihin sa kaniya ang nagpapainsecure sa akin.

I know I'm wrong to question my self and him his likes for me but I can't really help, though. All of my life, I live in questioning my self, my worth and my value. Sa panahon kasi ngayon at kahit nuon pa man, itsura ang naggiging basehan kaya nagugustuhan ang isang tao. Sabi pa nga, bonus na lang yung ugali para magustuhan.

All in all, most romantic relationships involve some level of physical or sexual attraction. This means that “looks,” in a sense, do matter. However, appearances are not the foundation of a relationship, and they are certainly not the main reason that a relationship will fail or succeed in the long term.

Appearance matters because some facial qualities are so useful in guiding adaptive behavior that even a trace of those qualities can create an impression. A positive personal appearance is a fast, effective way to boost self-confidence and overcome anxiety regarding ability or acceptance. When you appear attractively dressed and groomed, personally authentic, and appropriate for the occasion, you feel more comfortable, confident, capable, cooperative and productive.

Although, there are also people who's not after the physical appearance. They're after the maturity, the respect, and the material of this person. Ugali pa rin ang pinakaimportante sa lahat. How this person treat. How this person purse you. And how this person value you.

Kaya, hindi pa rin natin maiwasan magkagusto sa isang tao kahit alam natin sa sarili natin kung bakit natin siya nagustuhan, kung bakit naatract tayo sa kaniya.

But not me, though. A woman like me who has so much insecurities in herself. A woman like me who has not self-confidence and self-esteem is someone who's not easily to believe herself. I live in the world I don't have assurance and I live in the world that full of judgement.

He called me in pain and in annoyance, napapikit ang dalawang mata habang umaalon ang lalamunan. "Baby."

I smile painfully and bitterly, "I know. Nagtatakha lang talaga ako samantalang hindi ako maganda----"

He open his eyes and look at me with anger that mix with gentleness and admiration. "Ang ganda mo. Ang ganda-ganda mo palagi."

"XL......" I bit my lower to stop from sobering.