After (2024)

Love Me

I grew with you holding me up
A crumbling brick wall set between us
Of distance and time, of boundaries so I wouldn't
Create a dependence on my healer
Who didn't heal me but taught

Taught me that life was more than a series of tasks
Crossing items off the list of things I still have left to do
Burying myself under these chores
Sinking roots into the ground
Until that was all that's left

But you opened my eyes to something more
I can stand up straight
The crumbling wall where our branches grew still intertwined
But upright, allowing me to be an individual
Without fearing I'm doing it wrong

You helped me see that it's okay to speak the way my brain feels
And not worry that I won't be understood
But embrace that difference because
Not every tree can grow flowers
Some were meant for just leaves

I'm not settling for less of who I am
I am being who I am
But I realize I am better than who I was
Not because she wasn't great
Just because she still has room left to grow

I will not clip my thorns so you can strip me of my flowers
My hand is not for you to hold
If you cannot hug my soul without warning me
Of the stains I leave behind
The blood on your shirt is a part of me too

I grew slouched over knowing
That not all broken things can be fixed
But some things are better broken
I have learned beyond myself
I have seen the world from my window
And I am not disappointed

I grew up by myself, but you gave me the space to do it
I worked on my problems, but you showed me I had them
I was blind but now I see
The problems I thought I had weren't weaknesses
But strength

Maybe I don't need you to heal
But you have hold on my veins all the same
My heart beats in time so to my mind
My scars have been bandaged but my being whispers
Love me.

I am myself
But along the way I learned I am a piece of so many others
Different colors and textures
Shaping who I remain

I am myself.

But you are some of myself too